Kuching City Guide

Kuching, Borneo

Kuching in a word: Absorbing.

Chance of Hooking up: 3 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.5 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 2 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €2 for a pint.
Bed: €5 for the cheapest private room.
Bud: €12-15 per 1/8.
Board: €2-3 for most meals.
Budget other: Prepare to drink – a shit load. Check out Bako National Park, one of the best in the world.
Currency Conversion

Overview

In terms of craic, I would rate Kuching as the best place in Malaysia! In comparison with Peninsular Malaysia, this city of half a million in Borneo is considerable more laid back; with ultra-friendly locals, superb nightlife and cheaper booze. People from borneo know how to party and every night there’s something going on. You may find yourself spending more time here than you intended.

The Girls

Miss Sarawak candidate

Kuching is arguably the best place for high quality women in the entire region. The reason? The girls here are gorgeous, liberal and financially independent, yet they maintain their femininity. Ethnic Chinese, Orang Ulu and moneyed Malaysians make up most of this premium batch. Getting laid is not necessarily 100% guaranteed but women here speak English, like westerners and are very approachable. Chicks here will even buy you drinks! The only difficulty is girls tend to be cliquey here and hang out in large social circles. Cockblocking and AMOGing can be an obstacle, but if you befriend the guys you’re in. Kuching has a great bar scene conducive for gaming, so night-time is the best time to pick up. One night stands are no problem. For day game, there is a lot of shopping centers that have plenty of cute girls. Local restaurants are good as well.

Nightlife Recommendations

Lots and lots of option. I got a serious taste for this place as I spent two weeks on piss with the locals. Kuching has too many areas for a nightlife out so I’ll just single out my favourite spots…

Padungan Road

Great for a wee pub crawl. Just have a drink in every place and work your way down the strip. Mojo is a good spot to end up (when it’s busy).

Junk

This is a semi-private bar where anything goes. Ask people about its location (it’s beside Volcano, near Pandungan). There’s no signs, no entrance, just a giant steel door. Knock on the door, act like you own the place and enter the coolest place in Kuching. This 3 phased bar is busy every night and the girls here are stunning.

Getting High

It’s not that easy to find. We got some weed by just asking people in the bars. A few locals smoke or at least know people who smoke.. Prices are the same as KL -around 50 ringit for an 1/8.

My Kuching Experience

KU-CHING! Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I love this fucking city. I’ll be back time and time again. Details will get me in trouble as I have Malay friends reading this; let’s just say that both me and my travel buddy had A LOT of fun here. We had no problem getting a few Borneo flags. We planned on staying 2 day – we stayed here for 2 weeks. What more can I say?

Me & Dan in Junk (notice how I'm surrounding by hot chicks)

9 Responses to “Kuching City Guide”

  1. nice peacocking. u look so buckled tho, hah.

    any chance of a bangkok write-up soon?

  2. Cool blog you got here.

    I was wondering where your income stream is from? Internet business?

  3. Markzoni Says:

    sounds good. btw, since you’re so well-traveled, i wanted to get your advice on something.

    i’m thinking of relocating to EE for 6 months or so, during the non-winter. should I do Tallinn or Riga where English fluency is pretty high, but where there are also lots of obnoxious tourists that give the girls anti-foreigner feelings?

    or do you think it’s worth it to bother to learn Russian and live in Kiev, where the girls are hotter, but also colder?

    thanks naughtynomad!

    • I prefer Tallin over Riga. The girls are way friendlier there also.
      Kiev is even better – bigger city, hotter girls.
      The girls there are fighting each other to get a western guy but learning Russian is a HUGE advantage. I only had a months course in the language and it was enough to get me laid by a Ukrainian would had screw-all English.

      I have Riga, Tallin and Kiev City guides if you haven’t already read them..

  4. Good times man… any shorage occur? :p

  5. Joe Helmick Says:

    hey dude, can you send me a password for the best pick-up line in asia? your website is great huh.

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