Archive for the City Guides Category

Snapshot: Zadar, Croatia

Posted in City Guides, Croatia with tags , , , , on November 10, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Snapshots are mini town/city guides for smaller places or cities I have only experienced briefly. Here’s a little snapshot of Zadar.

What are one’s first impressions of Zadar?

Stari Grad

Surprisingly pleasant. The old town is very agreeable and the prices are WAY lower than southern Croatia. You might as well be in a different country.

What are the women like?

This is my third post on a Croatia so I have already aired my view on the local talent. I will say that women in Zadar are considerably more friendlier than their fellow countrywomen from the likes of Dubrovnik and Split. For a more detailed breakdown on Croatian women check out my guides on Dubrovnik and Hvar Island. Mr. Killian has a dedicated post on Cute Croatian girls.

Where should I go at night-time?

Stari Grad and it’s surroundings offer a decent nightlife. If you like the kinky type, I strongly recommend starting off in Kantun rock bar. Where to after that? Avoid City Club, it’s awful. You need to check out Maraschino, a slick disco bar packed with pretty young things and a great place to pick up girls; two out of three of us closed here. Both Kantun and Maraschino are highly recommended.

*Another source cites Arsenal as a great spot for live music and dancing.

Any other recommendations?

Book well in advance for accommodation. There is one hostel in old town, and it only has 4 beds. We end up 10 minutes away by taxi, not cool. Plan ahead. Ryanair offer cheap flights to Zadar.

The Bottom Line

Better than Dubrovnik.

Snapshot: Thessaloniki, Greece

Posted in City Guides, Greece with tags , , on November 6, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Snapshots are mini town/city guides for smaller places or cities I have only experienced briefly. Here’s a little snapshot of Thessaloniki.

Entrance to Kamara

What are one’s first impressions of Thessaloniki?

Not as pretty as Athens, but a hell of a lot cheaper. The city receives a lot less tourists so people seem friendlier. If this is your first stop in Greece, I’m sure the first thing you will notice is the local talent.

What are the women like?

The standard in Greece is a bit ridiculous, they are a truly scrumptious race.  If that tanned med look doesn’t get you going maybe this will: in this authors experience the girls of Thessaloniki are game like nowhere else. They have no problem making out with you in record time if you no how to woe them (this city inspired me to write my 10 second k-close post). Take the relaxed attitude, compound that with a good command of English and plenty of skin on show, I’m sure your hormones will be working overload. What I like about this city is the amount of rock/ emo /alternative chicks on the street. Guys, this city is fantastic for women.

Typically Greek

Where should I go at night-time?

If you like young beautiful women, go to the Kamara district. Apart from all the bars on offer, there is a park near the university where hundreds of rock chicks and kinky cuties hang out for all night parties on the cheap. While we were there, a huge party was also happening outdoors on the university grounds. Kamara is the business.

Any other recommendations?

Get a private room near Kamara. Not only is this where the nightlife is, it’s also a historical centre. In Kamara, everyone buys cheap drinks at Kiosks. You should do the same. If you want to seriously increase your chances of getting some sexy Greek ass, provide weed. Pick some up in Skopje if you’re arriving from the north.

The Bottom Line

Way more fun than Athens. This is place to slay a Greek.

Hvar Island Guide

Posted in City Guides, Croatia with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 2, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Small, but mighty!

Hvar in a word: Seasonal.

Chance of Hooking up: 4 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.5 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 3.5 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Up to €4 for a 250ml bottle.
Bed: €12-15 for a private room.
Bud: €5 per gram.
Board: €10 for a main course.
Budget other: Apart from being generally expensive, there are all-night parties on a nearby island that stretch the budget. It costs a few blips for the boat. Sun beds cost around a fiver for the day.
Currency Conversion


Hvar island is exactly what it says on the tin – the biggest party destination on the Dalmatian coast! It’s scenic, relaxed and great fun. It’s relatively pricey for the region, but it’s a wonderful place to hang out for a few days. On that note, there is absolutely no point in coming here outside the June to mid-September window.

The Girls

Rare but most fair

The local population here is insignificant, but girls from all over come the island to let loose.  Self-proclaimed zen travelers would hate this place, but for us naughty nomads it’s a fucking goldmine. Italians, Scandinavians, English, Irish, Aussies, North Americans & Eastern Europeans are all the menu. There is also a few models that come in on the yachts. Croatian girls are also present, but they are the minority. Go to Northern Croatia or Split if you’re determined to get a local honey. There is no particular Croatian “look” but in general the girls are tall and dress really well. They’re also a little more curvy compared to other Eastern Europeans. But back on getting laid… Don’t bother with day game, there is plenty of options at night. Separate yourself from the crowd, peacock a little. Standard rules apply, get your energy levels pumping for a ton of approaches. Give yourself a few days and you will leave here with a big smile on your face. Click the following link for some Croatian inspiration.

Nightlife Recommendations

Carpe Diem in Peak season

Carpe Diem

The undisputed heavyweight in town. Good layout and great cocktails, but expensive. It’s a bit snobbish but nonetheless attracts a lot of talent.


A lot less pretentious than Carpe Diem, and smaller. Personally, I prefer this place. If you want to pick up some local Croatians, this bar is much better. Furthermore, it has a real party atmosphere and outside is perfect for chatting up strangers. Make sure you order a “helmet” for the criac.


When everywhere else closes, this club is just getting started. This place is seriously impressive. In September is was like a hermit’s house party, but in peak season this place is electric. You will undoubtedly end up here, this is were all the nubile singles end up. Go get em!

Getting High (courtesy of

Nomad’s input: Get it in Split before you hit Hvar. We got sorted out by some local girls there. Everyone goes to a beach called “the fuckadrome” to smoke.

Legislation: Illegal. Cultivating, selling and owning.
THC related products are illegal in Croatia and they are equal to harder drugs by the law.

Law enforcement: Cops got to deal with other issues in Croatia. At home, nothing will happen. Outside, be a bit more careful.( Don’t go around trying to make everyone see you’re high or something.) From news coverage and general statements from police etc., you can obtain that the cops are more worried about the big dealers rather than the smaller consumers.

Where to buy marijuana: This is the problem. Do NOT walk up to any guy that looks like a gangster/pusher or anything, you might well end up being robbed. Best thing is just asking someone you know or you’ve had to do with.

Marijuana prices: Not as low as in India or something, but if you have to pay as much as in the US or Western Europe, you’re being ripped off.

More information: It is unlikely that you’re offered hash, and if you are, chances are that it sucks ass. Marijuana is what you wanna go with in Croatia. If you got the choice, reject hash.

My Hvar Experience

I was here 3 nights with 3 other amigos during the Siege of the Adriatic. The first night it was buzzin’, but the other two nights it was dead. It was the end of September and the place was on its last legs. Nonetheless, I was on form and managed to take down two hotties and get two new flags. One was a sexy Cypriot Aussie in Veneranda (where the ratio was easily 80% male I might add). Quite a feat, but that was nothing compared to the last night. No shit, there was only 4 women out and at least 50 guys. Bottom line, I went home with the hottest girl there; a testament to Mystery peacocking theory. She was a smoking hot Welsh naturalist who currently lives in a nudist community, nice. I make it sound like I’m Mr. Smooth, but it was actually quite a challenge so if you don’t mind “toot toot”. As for my amigos, during the course of the 3 days, two of them pillaged a pair of lassies eager for some pirate lovin’. All in all, Hvar left a most favourable impression and gets the big thumbs up! If one was to return, it would certainly not be on the fringes of peak season but rather in the thick of the action in July. Head my words and enjoy!


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Sarajevo City Guide

Posted in Bosnia & Herzegovina, City Guides with tags , , , , , , , on October 27, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Old Town's the place to be

Sarajevo in a word: Contrasting.

Chance of Hooking up: 3.5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 3 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €1.50 for a 330ml bottle.
Bed: €12 for a private room.
Bud: €5 per gram
Board: €3 for a local dish.
Budget other: It’s €12 for a tour of the tunnels.
Currency Conversion


Stari Grad (old town) makes Sarajevo one of the most endearing and unique capitals in Eastern Europe. The Islamic and Ottoman influence is also very visible and adds an exciting dynamic to the city.  You will find more hijabs here than anywhere else on Continental Europe. The ethnic mix is refreshing and the night life is hopping on the weekends.

The Girls

Miss Bosnia, Sanja Tunjic

Muslims, Croats & Serbs represent the ethnic make up of the city.  The general standard of women is not quite as impressive as in let’s say, Croatia or Serbia, but this is Eastern Europe, so the standard is still relatively high. Some of the darker Muslim girls can be especially gorgeous. Looks aside, Bosnians tend to be much more friendlier than their neighbours. This is in part due to lack of tourism and part due to travel restrictions. Westerners can expect girls to have good English and be quite receptive, even shy once you start speaking with them. Day game and pipelining is highly recommended, as many nightspots have unfavourable sex ratios in the region of 60/40. One night stands happen, but are not as commonplace as in surrounding countries. For more beautiful Bosnian babes click here.

Nightlife Recommendations

At night, the hijabs come off and the freaks come out. Sarajevo is rockin’, even  hectic on weekends. With so many options, I would need to return to justify a full breakdown. These recommendations are subjective. Personally, I’d prefer Sarajevo on during weekdays as most places on the weekend are too packed.  All the below recommendations are within walking distance from Stari Grad.

City Pub

A good pre-club choice with plenty of people. Busy, but not so packed to prevent starting a giant conga line.  Outside is fantastic for approaching girls. 3 of our group closed in this place.


You will more than likely end up here a some stage. This place is much better during weekdays with a more chilled out vibe and live music. On the weekends it’s too loud and overcrowded with cock.

Pirate Pub

This bar and the bar beside it were great craic. Granted, we were dressed as pirates so we got a sterling reception. Avoid Pirate pub on Saturday, it’s fucking mental. The bar beside it on the other hand had the perfect capacity for a Saturday.

*Another source recommends Sloga rock club.

My Sarajevo Experience

I was here for a weekend with 3 other amigos during the Siege of the Adriatic. Every single one of us hooked up in one form or another. However, none of  the girls in question were locals. I was very naughty and pulled a sexy Argentine right behind her boyfriend’s back. We all loved the city and I hope to return. I imagine this place would be very romantic in the wintertime snow.


Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

Snapshot: Dubrovnik, Croatia

Posted in City Guides, Croatia with tags , , , , , on October 22, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Snapshots are mini town/city guides for smaller places or cities I have only experienced briefly. Here’s a little snapshot of Dubrovnik.

Main Street in Old Town

What are one’s first impressions of Dubrovnik?

Overcrowded, overpriced and over-rated. Even in mid September, the place was chock-a-block with festering tourists. Don’t get me wrong – it’s very, very pretty, but after Montenegro this place is quite underwhelming. Everybody raves about this medieval masterpiece, and if it was my first stop on an Adriatic excursion I would too, but compared to the rest of Balkans the locals are unfriendly pricks, it’s fucking expensive and unless you are here in peak season the night-life isn’t up to much either.  Worth a look though… I guess.

What are the women like?

Similar to Montenegrins, Croatian girls are tall and dress very well. “If you’ve got it, flaunt it” is a statement very much endorsed. In general though, Croatians can be quite dour and are not nearly as friendly as many of their Balkan and Mediterranean counterparts. This is more so in Dubrovnik than other parts of the country. Tourists are in abundance and you are about as exotic as a Mars bar. In all likelihood you will probably end up pulling a tourist. Northern Croatia is much better if you want a local.

Where should I go at night-time?

I can only speak from my experience, which was in the latter end of September. In the two nights me and my friends spent here we went to pretty much every bar that was open. The Gaffe, an Irish pub, is a great spot with reasonably priced pints too (€3.50). The side streets off the main street in the old town host many little watering holes as well. At the end of the night, everybody ends up in Fuego nightclub. It’s shit, but enjoy it because it’s the only option outside of the June-August window.

Any other recommendations?

A walk around the city walls is decent enough. In this authors opinion, 2 days/1 night in Dubrovnik is enough. Spent the money and shell out for a place near the old town, something we regretted not doing. At €4 for a shitty little 250ml bottle of beer in many bars, get a few into you back home before you go out.

The Bottom Line

Worth a gander, but not a patch on Montenegro.