Archive for the Poems & Limericks Category

The Limerick of Budva

Posted in Israel, Montenegro, Poems & Limericks, Sex & Dating with tags , on September 18, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

A pirate danced with his crew,
He stumbled upon a hot Jew,
A body to thrill,
He went for the kill,
Oh man was she able to screw.

and screw…

and screw…

and screw.

The Limerick of Dusseldorf

Posted in Poems & Limericks with tags , on August 18, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Armed with sombreros in indigo,
We dressed up as pirates from Mexico,
The laugh of the city,
They sure did look silly,
But at the end of the night got fellatio.

ūüėČ

When was the last time you peakcocked?

The Pirates of the Sangrian

The Limerick of Paddy B

Posted in Poems & Limericks with tags , , , on May 16, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

I once had a really good friend,
Who travelled with me to Phnom Penh;
He knocked some chick up,
They just had a pup,
We’ll never see Paddy again.

Abroad…

Posted in Poems & Limericks, Travel with tags , , on May 2, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Man! Writing these guides just brings back fond memories; the incredible excitement you feel when you get a strange new city or even a familiar favourite.

Why is it when you’re not travelling you always feel like you’re missing out on something?

…Oh, I know. ¬†BECAUSE YOU ARE.

I look at pictures of tanned, toned half-naked ladies ¬†and can’t help but think…

Why am I not there?

I deserve to be in a warm country over-sexed and hungover.

I’m in hibernation, spending my days inside and¬†foraging¬†for cash, just so I leave again! I don’t even notice Irish women. I seen them as men. I don’t even bother going out. I have ZERO interest. The only thing that perks me up is the odd Black, Asian and European girl that happens to fall into my lap. But still.. it’s just not… abroad.

Abroad is where to I want to go,

where booze is cheap and cocktails flow.

Abraod is where its nice and hot,

on hammocks chillin, smoking pot.

Abroad has sexy girls galore,

with slim, dark bodies to explore.

But here at home the standard drops,

with pasty, flabby muffin tops.

I’ve had enough, I’m outta here,

Destination: anywhere.