Archive for the Travel Cheats Category

Shoring 101: 7 Golden Rules

Posted in Pick up techniques, Sex & Dating, Shoring, Travel Cheats with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 30, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Jakarta, Indonesia

When I came up the term “Shoring“, I didn’t expect to get some many emails from skeptics asking the question:

“BS. How the hell do you get a “lady of the night” to bang you for free?”

Then I released something, Shoring is not just a buzz word, it’s an art form; one that took me several years to perfect. To date, I’ve shored dozens of exotic women in Africa and Asia and never paid for it once. Through calibration and trial and error, I’m now an expert at it. Recently, I rolled into a club in Dili, East Timor, an environment with a 95% male ratio. Rather than poor Timorese guys,  these were beefed up Portuguese UN soldiers, all competing to pay for sex. Against all odds, I shored the hottest chick in the building. Her opportunity cost was easily $100, but she choose me. Personally I prefer “good girls”, but when supply and demand are unfavorable, what is a man to do?

There are ramifications to picking up hookers, like when a girl tells you “By the way, I’ve HIV“. But these girls fuck for a living, so they’re dam good at what they do. If the girl(s) genuinely like you, they will show you the best night of your life!

Excuse the pun, but the pros outweigh the cons.

“Right Naughty Nomad, get to the fucking point… what’s the secret!?”

Well kids, here are a few pick-up techniques I use to Shore. Class is now in session…

SHORING 101: 7  Golden Rules

  1. Play it dumb.
    As far as you’re concerned she’s a normal girl having a normal conversation with you. Pretend like you have no idea she’s working. She might not be! Regardless, build the illusion for both parties. Avoid the question “What do you do for a living?”
  2. Play hard to get.
    Some hardened pros are very forward and will be all over you the within a few seconds. Say things like “Slow down” or “I’m Shy..” or “I’m not that easy!” This separates you from all the scumbags she’s used to. It build’s attraction, a kind of Neg/DHV combo.
  3. Don’t buy her a drink.
    This sets up an exchange mentality. If she requests one, deny her. Many pro’s make commission on lady’s drinks or some just want use you to get pissed. EXCEPTION: You don’t want to look cheap at the same time, only consider buying a drink if you bounce to new establishment. If she joins you to another bar without investment, it’s a big enough IOI to justify purchasing a drink for your “instant date”.
  4. Treat her like you girlfriend.
    Be a gentleman, have fun with her. Game her, but don’t escalate too quickly. Build an emotional connection. Be cheesy, not sleazy. Then, when the time is right…
  5. Kiss her.
    Don’t stick your tongue down her throat and grab her ass. Kiss her slow and passionately, savour it, give her butterflies. If you can do this, it becomes a completely different interaction.
  6. Never, ever bring up money.
    This is important. I used to say “I don’t pay” right at the start of a conversation, a bad idea in retrospect as it offers no illusions. Now I just don’t mention it during the entire interaction. If she brings it up just say “Sorry, love is free”. She will stick around or move on.
  7. Close.
    When the time is right, you need to ask her the right way. Ones that have worked for me are: “If you want, you can come home with me…” or “I know it’s a bit forward, but I like you.. do you want to go back to my place?”. The main thing is to give here a choice, she can take it or leave it. She can get a wad of cash off some fat white sex tourist or she can experience intimacy and wild steamy sex with someone she actually likes… if you’ve run your game right, she will choose the latter. Have fun!!! Remember, these girls will do just about anything in bed!
    😉

Hope this guide helps. You can offer your experiences or ask me questions by leaving a comment below!

The Naughty Nomad Travel Kit ;)

Posted in Pick up techniques, Travel, Travel Cheats with tags , , , , , , , on May 14, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

I travel with just a carry-on 25 Litre army backpack everywhere I go, so I know how important space is!

Now I’m not going to tell you to pack 3 pairs of self-washable super socks that that double as small towels; or to bring a special penknife that turns into a small life raft with a cocktail bar; you can get that info somewhere else.

This is a special travel kit.

Something essential for all you vagabonding Venusian artists…

………………………………………………………….

The Naughty Nomad Travel Kit

😉

A Fetching Hat

YES! This outfit got me action.

A hat, jewellery, a tie, a striking shirt; whatever! Never underestimate the power of a little peakcocking. Separate yourself from the herd and women will respond. In my case, good head wear translates to good head. This technique helps in places where you may look similar to the locals… i.e. A white guy in Eastern Europe or a Black guy in Africa. Peakcocking also gives you an advantage over other tourists elsewhere .

An Unblocked Phone

What about Jenny?

How the are going to call her without a phone dip shit!? OK so I don’t recommend calling girls who leave their number on toilet doors, but if you want to arrange dates you need a dam phone. Buy a local SIM card. It’s cheaper and girls will be more inclined to text you. Having a phone more than doubles your chances of hooking up. I wish someone told me this before I went to Africa! A phone is also needed for my “Number Crunching” gambit. Email me @ thenaughtynomad@gmail.com to get the password.

Candle & Incense

The mood setter

It sounds corny, but this works wonders. A candle and some incense can turn that $3 shit hole into a Romantic oasis. Get all those senses tingling. Make sure the girl lights the candle, her involvement in building the scene is a subconscious submission to the seduction. Candlelight also provides the perfect luminance for some good lovin’.

Ultra light Speakers / Laptop

Small but mighty

You got to get some tunes going to set the mood. Laptops usually suffice, otherwise hook up your Mp3 player to these ultra light speakers. A lot of these compact travel speakers provide really great sound a nice amount of sensual bass vibrations. But more importantly you need…

The Right Playlist

♪ ♫ Let's get it on! Owh! ♪ ♫

Make a sexy playlist. Start it off nice and slow and customise it to your style. Try and create a flow.  On one occasion I actually esculated the seduction in syrcronisation with a playlist! I even arrange different songs for different positions! Hey, why not?

😉

Massage Oil

Oh yeah!

Now you’re getting into it. Skin looks sooo much sexier covered in oil, and who doesn’t like a massage? Get creative. Massage oil also doubles as a lube for all you cheeky sodomites.

Playtime Items

What the hell?

I’m not going to judge here.

Condoms, Handcuffs, Duck-tape, Video-camera, the Super Licker 5000 (above), Phallic paraphernalia or whatever else you sickos are into… put them into your Naughty Nomad kit! You’re nearly finished.

😉

Finally… Pictures of  dead naked women

nice...

So you’ve just had sex with a woman you no intention of having a future with?

Nothing says Mr.Right like a few pics of a defiled battered corpse. Try add some white stains for extra effect. Leave them casually displayed on the floor  before you take your morning shower. She’ll be gone before you wash your hair.

😉

BTW – If you’re a smoker bring skins. Do you how hard it is to find skins in a country where a box of fags is little more that a dollar!? Stock up.

War Zone Safety Guide!

Posted in D.R Congo, Travel Cheats, War Zone Safety with tags , , , , , on May 5, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

LISTEN UP MAGGOT!

So you think you’re hard son?

You think  you got what it takes huh?

Y’all tired o’those pansy faggot tourist trails? HUH!?

Well… I hope you know what you got yourselves in fur..

Ok, so maybe you done time… seen some action…

Well guess what?

YOU AIN’T SHIT!

Afghanistan & Irac are for PUSSIES!

Hell I could bring my Gramma there – you gud fur nothin’ yellowbelly BABY KILLERS!

Ever been to the Congo?

… been held at gun point?

… smelt fear after you done shit yourself?

… been rapped by a gang of angry Hutus?

didn’t think so.

I bet you’ve never even made love to a gorilla tied to a tree.

Well… bout time you tried, ain’t it?

That's ma boy! Nomad junior.

Y’all need to be PREPARED to go in-to-de-CONGO!

WAR ZONE PACKIN’ CHECKLIST

  • Volcano insurance. You want everyone callin’ you magma dick? Not in a month of Sundays!
  • Mosquito repellent. If you gots malaria you done fur! They got no hospital no how.
  • Wacky Tabacey. How do expect to pay fur some moonshine with a million francs that ain’t worth an once of cornbread?  You dumb shit.
  • Booze and a pack of Marlboro. You planned bribing these folks with a Gareth Brook CD? Fuck you!
  • Condoms. These women have been gang-rapped and brutalised. I repeat: Rapped and brutalised. Again and again and again.  I guess they figure a stranger in these parts might treat em gud. You know, treat ’em like they ought’a be treated.  So do! SHOW EM’ A GOOD TIME BOYS! YEE-HAW!
  • Last but not least – My book. Buy my fuckin’ book!

ON SALE NOW! for only 5,000 Ugandan Shillings!

Y’all come back now ya hear!

( You dumb sons of bitches)

Actual pictures we took in the Congo below:

Entering Former Zaire

Road side

Us riding into the jungle

Refugee Camp from the War, not so funny...

Pygmy Tribe (They look sad, but you should seen em' at the local wedding we went to to later! Pissed as farts they were!)

Lake Verd

Protected: The ULTIMATE pick up technique abroad (email me for password)

Posted in Pick up techniques, Travel, Travel Cheats with tags , , , , , on April 25, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

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How to learn a language fast!

Posted in Languages, Travel Cheats with tags , , on April 24, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Acquiring a language is easy! If you learn the fun way 😉

Language also opens a world of possibilities for meeting exotic women!

The problem is the way in which languages are taught in school. That shit is OUTDATED!

Just use the Naughty Nomad method:

Step 1) Pick your language (see Figure 1 below)

Step 2) Pick a country that speaks that language (see Figure 2 below)

Step 3) Book a flight

Step 4) Download a 30-day Pimsleur audio pack (the cheeky way here)

Step 5) Do the 30 minute lessons everyday for a month before you travel

Step 6) Contact some locals  online  during this period

Step 7 ) With a bit of  luck and persistence,  you’ll be abroad taking lessons under cover in no time!

The best way to learn a language is to date a native speaker 😉

Even German sounds sexy in bed!

Look below and take up the challenge!

Five Reasons Dating Abroad is the Best Way to Learn a Language

Figure 1

Figure 2