Kuta City Guide (Bali)

Kuta Beach

Kuta in a word: Party!

Chance of Hooking up: 4.5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.5 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 2.5 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €1 for a bintang.
Bed: €5 for the cheapest private room
Bud: €5 per gram
Board: €2-3 for most meals.
Budget other: Rent a moto and see the real Bali.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Some say Bali is too touristy, uninspiring and over-rated. BULLSHIT. Bali is the fucking business. Beaches, babes and cheap cocktails; what more could you want? Kuta is the island’s premier destination for night-life and it certainly doesn’t disappoint.

The Girls

Miss Bali

Bali is a suburb for women. You have lots of options in terms of ethnic groups, each of which have varying degrees of quality and difficulty. On the lower end of the scale is the drunk Aussie girls; an easy lay perhaps but quality is generally poor. A much better option is cheeky Javanites; promisous Muslims who come to Bali to bask in relative liberalism. Many are drop-dead gorgeous and easy enough to pull. Be wary, some are semi-pros. Then there are the odd Eastern European and Japanese girls, which needless to say, are stunning. They get creeped on constantly, so require a little more effort. Finally there is my pick: local Balinese girls. Beautiful, feminine and eloquent, a Bali girl is for keeps. They don’t screw around and have good values (having children out of wedlock is seriously frowned upon).

Kuta chicks

That said, if they like you they will have no problem being intimate with you. These sweet girls really know how to please a man and their accents will make you melt. If you want to hook up with one I recommend day game as most have day jobs in Kuta. At night, they hang out in groups with their friends. Like most women in the region, they prefer westerners. If I had to marry any girl from South East Asia, she would be either Filipina or Balinese. I hope you find your Bali girl 🙂

Nightlife Recommendations

Kuta has plenty of options in terms of nightlife. More than likely you will find yourself on Jalan Legion, which has the biggest concentration of nightspots. Go to the bounty if you want to hang out with a load of pissed Aussie students. There is a lot of cool bars on Jalan Poppie 2 with live reggae music most nights, a good starting point.

M-bar-go

Good crowd, good music. This place provides a good medium between the bounty and the next place I recommend…

Sky Garden

A wee bit seedy, but I love this place. Three stories of sexiness. No matter your taste, this is the place to be if you want to get laid. Both me and my mate had no problem scoring here.

Bali PR girls

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Nomad’s input: Not worth it, most dealers try to rip you off and sell you absolute muck. Go for some mushrooms!

Legislation: Possession, Sale, and Consumption of Marijuana is Illegal and punishable with prison 10 years prison and the death penalty is given for trafficking.

Law enforcement: The laws are enforced strongly. Police will except bribes, and generally know not to hassle tourists without due cause.

Where to buy marijuana in bali: Head down to Poppies lane in Kuta and walk around the square that area has a high concentration of dealers; also you can hookup from other tourists, particularly Aussie surfer dudes. I suggest u smoke a bit of it first to test it, I couldn’t even manage to score real weed despite the myriad of dealers.

Bali Marijuana prices: Aceh Weed and Nepalese hash 500,000 Rupiah for a good 10 grams, though make sure you bargain you will initially be charged much more and u can get the price down to 350,000 Rupiah. Australian hydro varies, Aussies get better prices than others, though its about 30 USD for a gram, but as I said earlier prices vary greatly ive heard people saying they’ve paid as much as 80 USD for a gram.

My Kuta Experience

After an incredible bike trip around the island, I landed in Kuta for 4 nights. I didn’t even stay my room once. I approached a tight Javanese girl the first night and went back to hers. Earlier the same night, I gave out my number to a cute Balinese beautician (she was only 4’5!). She text me the next day and asked me over to her place. We really clicked. I had a few dates with other girls each day but I just going back to her; it was hard to upgrade. The last night she experienced her first mushrooms. It was my first trip with a women and it was an unforgettable experience. She cried her heart out when I was leaving; I even shed a tear or two. 😦

Top 10 countries for girls in S.E. Asia

I have already given my Top 10 destinations in South East Asia, but I thought I’d give you guys a girl guide to the region. I read an article by Roosh V where he promotes genetic beauty, femininity & sexuality as the  three components of female beauty. I feel such criteria provides a great template for assessing women from different countries. Roosh used the template for South America, now I shall use it for S.E Asia.

The results are in…

As you see the Philippines just beats Thailand due to excessive Filipina bone-age. Laos ranks lowest (11th) because of the harsh penalties imposed for screwing foreigners. Feel free to ask me any questions or leave comments.

I have some great City Guides related to this topic if you want to check them out:

Manila, Philippines

Jakarta, Indonesia

Dili, East Timor

Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Hanoi, Vietnam

😉

Jakarta City Guide

Crosstown Traffic

Jakarta in a word: Huge.
C.O.H: 4 / 5
Q.O.G: 3 / 5
S.T.L: 2 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer:Around  €1
Bed: €10-15 for a private room
Bud: €10 per finger
Board: €1 for a basic meal.
Budget other: If you don’t book in advance you could end up shelling out for a hotel.
Currency Conversion

Overview

I think wiki-travel provide an adequate description. Jakarta is “a sweltering, steaming, heaving mass of some 10 million people packed into a vast urban sprawl.” It may be the capital of the largest Islamic nation, but there’s just as much debauchery here as Bangkok.

 

Miss Indo 07

The Girls

There is a good mix of Indonesian shades here. They island of Java has some of the most beautiful girls in South East Asia. They are very feminine and in this authors opinion, have the sexiest accents in Asia. Religion is rife but don’t despair! Jakarta represents the more liberated elements of Indonesian society and there are plenty of willing girls who drink and sleep around. Like the surrounding regions, getting girls in this city is much easier than in the west. Language can be an issue but Bahasa Indonesian is very easy to pick up. In nightspots like Block M prostitution is very prevalent. Day game is great, especially if you don’t won’t to deal with the sprawl of Jakarta nightlife.

Nightlife Recommendations

The problem with Jakarta is it’s size. The main backpaking area Jalan Jaska is  miles away  from the rest of the nightlife.

Jalan Jaksa (no Koh Shan Rd.!)

Jalan Jaksa

Memories- This place is nice for a good beer, live music and observing the spectacle that is of Jakarta nightlife.

Ali’s – A slice of Africa in Asia. Great music and great fun. I picked up here before.

Block M

Seedy for some but it has to done. Click here.

Blok M -ish

Stadium

5000 capacity. This place is the biggest club in South East Asia; an institution. Open Thursday and doesn’t close till Sunday. Bring your credit card.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Nomad’s input: Reggae shop, Jalan Jaska

Legislation: it is illegal to posess or smoke marijuana in this country

DEATH upon conviction, even a small plant with no flowering lands you at least US$2500 fine + jail term. Not sure if caught with a handful of buds though.

Law enforcement: sometimes enforced, but other times the police just looks the other way. The police has no idea what marijuana looks/smells like, but be careful of drugraids. Smoking up in public is no problem, as long as there is no police around. If locals catch you they will just laugh.

Where to buy marijuana: Kampung Ambon in Cengkareng is the wholesale marijuana hub in Jakarta, it is where the best stuff is sold. Other places to find would be in the discotheques, just ask the dealers scattered around.

A good place to get weed from is Block M near a mall called “pasar raya”. just ask one of the indonisians hanging around, selling DVD. The weed in Block M is good but if you want to score hash, go to the north, to “Glodok” or “Mangga Dua”. Another good place to get weed is Kemang, dont be afraid to ask people, its totaly safe.

For ease of convenince, you can go to the disco in town and ask the many dealers inside. most will offer you MDMA but they do have weed as well. It’s expensive there cos it’s all pre-rolled tiny joints, made up from 2 mini skin, amount of weed inside is just as much as 1 bong hit mixed with clove tabacco.

One particular spot which has at least a few dealers aggresively approach you as you enter, is the infamous ST*D**M, (=sports ground).”

Marijuana prices: 0.5-1$/g good qualety 30$/150g bad qualety
small packets for Rp 150,000 big packets Rp 400,000
also: “Rp20,000 for a mini joint”

More information: Jakarta is not famous for its weed but for its XTC witch starts at 2$ per pill.

My Jakarta Experience

First night here, I thought I landed in hell.

Second night BOOM! Weed, Women, everything. Scored in Ali’s with an Indonesian who didn’t even speak English. But she wasn’t great and a Christian, I wanted a Muzzy!

One day just walking down the street I gave my number to this AMAZING looking Muslim girl. I thought there was no chance she would contact me given how beautiful she was. Turns out she text me the day we were leaving! I told her I only had a few hours so she invited me straight to her room. After talking for a while I put the moves on her. She showed token resistance  but soon caved. I had the best sex of my life – again and again and again. She was so into it and kept asking for more! She was my first Muslim and one of the sexiest women I’ve ever been with. Jakarta may be a bit of a shit hole but it sure has some gems.