Kuching City Guide

Kuching, Borneo

Kuching in a word: Absorbing.

Chance of Hooking up: 3 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.5 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 2 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €2 for a pint.
Bed: €5 for the cheapest private room.
Bud: €12-15 per 1/8.
Board: €2-3 for most meals.
Budget other: Prepare to drink – a shit load. Check out Bako National Park, one of the best in the world.
Currency Conversion

Overview

In terms of craic, I would rate Kuching as the best place in Malaysia! In comparison with Peninsular Malaysia, this city of half a million in Borneo is considerable more laid back; with ultra-friendly locals, superb nightlife and cheaper booze. People from borneo know how to party and every night there’s something going on. You may find yourself spending more time here than you intended.

The Girls

Miss Sarawak candidate

Kuching is arguably the best place for high quality women in the entire region. The reason? The girls here are gorgeous, liberal and financially independent, yet they maintain their femininity. Ethnic Chinese, Orang Ulu and moneyed Malaysians make up most of this premium batch. Getting laid is not necessarily 100% guaranteed but women here speak English, like westerners and are very approachable. Chicks here will even buy you drinks! The only difficulty is girls tend to be cliquey here and hang out in large social circles. Cockblocking and AMOGing can be an obstacle, but if you befriend the guys you’re in. Kuching has a great bar scene conducive for gaming, so night-time is the best time to pick up. One night stands are no problem. For day game, there is a lot of shopping centers that have plenty of cute girls. Local restaurants are good as well.

Nightlife Recommendations

Lots and lots of option. I got a serious taste for this place as I spent two weeks on piss with the locals. Kuching has too many areas for a nightlife out so I’ll just single out my favourite spots…

Padungan Road

Great for a wee pub crawl. Just have a drink in every place and work your way down the strip. Mojo is a good spot to end up (when it’s busy).

Junk

This is a semi-private bar where anything goes. Ask people about its location (it’s beside Volcano, near Pandungan). There’s no signs, no entrance, just a giant steel door. Knock on the door, act like you own the place and enter the coolest place in Kuching. This 3 phased bar is busy every night and the girls here are stunning.

Getting High

It’s not that easy to find. We got some weed by just asking people in the bars. A few locals smoke or at least know people who smoke.. Prices are the same as KL -around 50 ringit for an 1/8.

My Kuching Experience

KU-CHING! Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I love this fucking city. I’ll be back time and time again. Details will get me in trouble as I have Malay friends reading this; let’s just say that both me and my travel buddy had A LOT of fun here. We had no problem getting a few Borneo flags. We planned on staying 2 day – we stayed here for 2 weeks. What more can I say?

Me & Dan in Junk (notice how I'm surrounding by hot chicks)

Top 10 countries for girls in S.E. Asia

I have already given my Top 10 destinations in South East Asia, but I thought I’d give you guys a girl guide to the region. I read an article by Roosh V where he promotes genetic beauty, femininity & sexuality as the  three components of female beauty. I feel such criteria provides a great template for assessing women from different countries. Roosh used the template for South America, now I shall use it for S.E Asia.

The results are in…

As you see the Philippines just beats Thailand due to excessive Filipina bone-age. Laos ranks lowest (11th) because of the harsh penalties imposed for screwing foreigners. Feel free to ask me any questions or leave comments.

I have some great City Guides related to this topic if you want to check them out:

Manila, Philippines

Jakarta, Indonesia

Dili, East Timor

Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Hanoi, Vietnam

😉

Kuala Lumpur City Guide

KL towers at night

KL in a word: Dynamic.
C.O.H: 3 / 5
Q.O.G: 3 / 5
S.T.L: 1.5 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around €5 a pint.
Bed: €6-8 for a private room.
Bud: ?
Board: €2 for a decent chinese dish.
Budget other: Alcohol gets insanely expensive in nightclubs.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Kuala Lumpur is a dynamic place and is a nice size. It is quite developed and safe with wonderful parks. Indians, Chinese and Malays all inhabit this pleasurable city. This would be a fantastic city to hang out in if it wasn’t for the exoberant alcohol tax.

Malay girls are adorable

The Girls

Malaysian law is pretty strict on native Malay muslims drinking, as a result it is unlikely to encounter Malay girls at night. That said, plenty of Chinese and Indian girls do indulge. Malay girls have darker skin than other ethnic groups on the peninsula and many are extremely attractive and feminine. If you want to meet a nice Malay woman, your best bet is Borneo as East Malaysia is considerably more conservative. One positive about Kuala Lumpur is that English is widely understood due to the ethnic mix. Kuala Lumpur is also great place to meet some stunning Chinese girls, many of whom are independent and well-educated. KL is also home to many are Filipinas and Vietnamese women. While many work here legitimately, others come to the city to work as prostitutes.

Nightlife Recommendations

The nightlife in KL is slighty disappointing. This is part due to extremes.

There are 4 types of place to drink  in KL.

• Chinese restaurants with cheap booze
• Tourist Bars (the nearest happy medium)
• High-end nightclubs with high-end prices
• Sleazy Freelancer bars

Beach Club

Falling under the sleazy category. Packed full of Vietnamese hookers and horny old guys. That said, is has a shark aquarium, great live music and some normal girls (I got picked up here with no money involved)

Zouk & Velvet Underground

Well known disco with lots of dance areas and great DJs. Packed with hot Chinese girls. It can be a bit pricey and a bit pretentious but the quality here is grade A.

Bukit Bintang

A street with lots of bars and lots of options. A good mix of tourists and locals. This is a good medium between the options mentioned above. This is the place to go if your want some Europeans (or Reggae bar).

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Nomad’s  input: “you need to befriend a local”

Legislation: Very very strict, which means death penalty for traficking and for sure jail for any amount, even very small.

Law enforcement: Severe. You should only smoke in your hotel room. Police does usually not bother foreigner, but they will sure do if they suspect something. Another reporter added: “Police here are mostly corrupted. So a bribe could get you away.

Where to buy marijuana: In the golden triangle area, talk with the guys that try to hook you up with the prostitutes. Play the stupid (I’m not sure if you can get me what I want, bla, bla…) and you will eventually bring on the conversation on weed. Once the deal is set, walk or take a cab straight to your hotel, you don’t want to hang around with the weed. And don’t let the dealer know where you stay as he might then report to his policeman friend ! If you’re very very careful, everything should be fine.

Jalan Chow Kit is the main place for it. Locate the market, ask someone where is the lamb/mutton are sold, near there, you will find some fruits stalls, look out for guys making eye contact, just nod and walk towards a less crowded place, if he follows, you’re on, pay and get the hell outta there. ”

Marijuana prices: In this place mostly are sold in RM10 packs which hardly enough for a joint, negotiate and ask for better deals.
and also: “Never really measured but… 1 quarter of your palm filled with weed will mostly cost you more or less 30 ringgit, always bargain”

My KL Experience

I’ve been to KL 4 times.
I’ve walked across the entire city and feel I know it pretty well.
I got laid twice but it took a bit of luck (one from Beach bar and once from Zouk), I personally prefer beach bar. The food is to die for and some of the girls here are ‘make-you-want-to-stay-here’ gorgeous. I’d actually consider living here if the booze wasn’t so pricey.

Me in Zouk