Archive for the The Philippines Category

Boracay Island Guide

Posted in City Guides, The Philippines with tags , , , , , on August 22, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Now that's what I'm talkin' bout!

Boracay in a word: Paradise.

Chance of Hooking up: 5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 3 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around €.60 for a bottle of San Miguel.
Bed: €5 for a private room in low season.
Bud: ?
Board: €3-4 for most meals.
Budget other: Cocktails for your dates!
Currency Conversion


Rated No. 1 in my Top 10 Destinations in South East Asia, for me this place is paradise. White beaches, palm trees, turquoise waters and violet sunsets. Ahh! Top it off by sipping Mojitos and listening to an acoustic set with some beautiful Filipina sitting next to you. What more could you want?

The Girls

Two please!

If you like cute Asian girls in bikinis you’ll love this place!  Filipina, Korean, Japanese, Chinese, European – Boracay has it all. It may be a honeymoon island, but they’re plenty of singles around. Not only are the girls here sexy and slim, they’re game too. The island is the premier destination of a country with 80 million people and as a result, the locals who come to Boracay are all about foreign men.  It’s easy to approach any time of the day whether your target is working or chilling on the beach. Bag yourself a few beach babes and you’ll want to return again, and again, and again. Just be careful, the island is small and you run into trouble dating too many girls… (I found that out the hard way). So you want to get laid in Boracay? Here is my my fabulous…

Beach Bar Bedroom Bladder Bounce technique:

1) Give out / get a phone number. Commence txting.

2) Arrange date for a happy hour, somewhere relaxed and near your place.

3) Get your girl mellowed on cheap cocktails. One Mai -Tai will do the trick, these chicks are tiny!

4) Go for a romantic walk on the beach during sunset, find a place to chill on the sand, conveniently just beside where your staying. Kiss her.

5) This point is crucial. Wait for the cocktail to work it’s way through her system. When shes needs to use the bathroom just say.. “Well, you can use mine if you want, it’s just here…” If she has a unusually strong bladder and that fails, just give her some other excuse to enter the room. “I got some pics you should see” or just flat out lie “Oh, there’s something I got to show you!” (ie. my cock). It doesn’t matter, nine times out of ten it’s golden.

6) I’ve just shown you how to get a drunk beach babe in your room and it’s not even dinner time. I think you can figure out the rest.

This technique works well for instant dates also.


Nightlife Recommendations

Nigi’s Nigi’s

Not a bad place to pick up a stray or two. My friend and I both scored here more than once.


This disco bar by the beach is where the party’s at. Every night here is insane! This is the number one spot to pull. Grab a girl, do some bumping and grinding then take her home and destroy her! But expect to see her there again, this place is often the only option. Need a little encouragement?

Check out this Bikini contest at Cocamangas…

Getting High

Hard to find. This may be the first post where one cannot help. If you want to get high in Boracay, your best bet is to bring some with you. As usually, beware of entrapment by corrupt officials on the island.

My Boracay Experience

I went nuts here. At one stage I had 9 dates in 3 days! One during the day, one at happy hour and one in the evening. That was before Cocomangas! Like Phuket and Bali, I was shaggin’ like a rabbit. One problem – I kept running into girls I had hooked up while I was on other dates! Things turned ugly. I effectively got chased of the island, warned never to return.


Why not check out more naughty City Guides?

Top 10 countries for girls in S.E. Asia

Posted in Asia, Brunei, Cambodia, East Timor, Indonesia, Laos, Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, The Philippines, Vietnam on June 27, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

I have already given my Top 10 destinations in South East Asia, but I thought I’d give you guys a girl guide to the region. I read an article by Roosh V where he promotes genetic beautyfemininity & sexuality as the  three components of female beauty. I feel such criteria provides a great template for assessing women from different countries. Roosh used the template for South America, now I shall use it for S.E Asia.

The results are in…

As you see the Philippines just beats Thailand due to excessive Filipina bone-age. Laos ranks lowest (11th) because of the harsh penalties imposed for screwing foreigners. Feel free to ask me any questions or leave comments.

I have some great City Guides related to this topic if you want to check them out:

Manila, Philippines

Jakarta, Indonesia

Dili, East Timor

Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Hanoi, Vietnam


Manila City Guide

Posted in City Guides, The Philippines with tags , , on April 28, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Metro Manila

Manilla in a word: lustful.
C.O.H: 5 / 5
Q.O.G: 3 / 5
S.T.L: 1 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €1
Bed: €10 for a double room
Bud: €1 per gram
Board: €2 a basic meal
Budget other: €10  airport departure tax
Currency Conversion


Manilla is riddled with guns and poverty, but it’s more laid back and less hectic than Bangkok. One night here and you’ll never be the same again. Just follow my night-life recommendations.

Cathleen Lee, Filipina

The Girls

You really have your pick in Manilla -tanned, toned, petite cuties everywhere. They’re all super friendly and speak English with sexy Latina accents. The women here are also the coolest in East Asia. They are playful and up for anything. If there was a Sex Olympics, the Philippines would probably win the gold. There is a lot of average looking girls but you do encounter the odd stunner! Nearly 90% of girls here want to meet a western guy. But beware, if you want to avoid the hookers and are in Manila for more than two days click here; if you want to avoid the lady-boys click here. There are plenty of normal, genuine girls to choose from. Day game is where it’s at in Manila. They are very approachable -in malls, the street or just about anywhere. You might even meet the love of life here. Filipinas are said to make the best wives in the world.  This is my favourite country in South East Asia for a reason. Manila is your playground.

Here are 10 reason for dating a Filipina girl.

Nightlife Recommendations

Manila has a lot of options with cheap beer and great live music. And if there’s a girl involved? Well why not!

If you only have one night in Manila here’s the plan:

Cowboy Grill

Come here to start your night for some of the best steak around. They got great bands and  beer by the barrel! then…

Manila Bay (formally LA cafe)

This may just be the best bar on the fucking planet. WOMEN GALORE! 24 hours a day! (see pic) But beware, this is “freelancers” bar and it’s seedy as hell. You will need to fight the girls of with a stick. Personally, I’ve never paid for sex in my life, but I’ve never went home alone from this bar! Some of these girls are working but know some just want intimacy with attractive mates. Pick the right one, play it cool (& play it shy) and money won’t come up in conversation once. They won’t even ask for a drink. Even if you get unlucky,  this place is a tourist attraction in it’s own right. There’s great live music upstairs every night.

Getting High (courtesy of

Legislation: the new revised narcotics act states that an individual may be arrested if he is in possesion of any parapharnalia with residue. about 5grams can land you life as the death penalty has been abolished for the meantime.
Posession of any drug is considered a henious crime.

If you get caught and convicted, your facing 20+ years in one of the worse prisons in the world OR your gettin the death penalty!!!! BE DISCREET!!!

Law enforcement: If you get in trouble, try to get out as fast you can with the minimum number of people and pesos getting involved. Keep a few US $100 bills in your wallet (no ID, just money). The green $$$ talks if you get busted.

another report we received is: “Cops are easy to bribe, if you do it quickly, blind them with Grant and Jefferson, don’t make it reach the station becuase you will have to bribe more people. if you see a cop pretend you don’t understand, then when he tells you he’s gonna arrest you say something like: why don’t we just settle this here and save us both the trouble, say you are making a “pakiusap” and tell him you respect him as an officer. it always does good to stroke their ego before offering a bribe. Don’t show any ID and as much as possible pretend you are not a tourist”

and also: “Philippine drug laws are extremely strict, especially for foreigners!!! Bribing most cops will buy you a “Get out of jail free” card. If you ever get caught just flatter the officers about their “professionalism” and how you believe their country is “by far” the best on Earth!!! After about 3-4 minutes of that tell the officers you want to make a deal! Friends of mine have done this with no problems, but DONT let them take you back to the station! You\’ll wind up having to bribe every officer and it’ll cost you around $3000 as opposed to maybe $400. I smoked daily when I was in the Philippines and I did standing transactions right in front of my condominium(Busy Metro Area), and saw “Pulisya” roughly 5 times in 3 years!!! Im also not a fool!!! If you have ANY common sense this shouldnt be a problem!!! Dont risk 25 years in a Filipino prison(Ungodly Filth) because you think you’ll never get caught! Be discreet and cautious about your business

Where to buy marijuana in Manila: Sagada-sagada is a haven for pot smokers, its kind of like Amsterdam because it has coffee shops and the locals are very tolerant (in fact they encourage cannabis), it’s a tourist destination for hiking trecking and other out door activites, Once you get down the bus locals may offer you anything from sensi, pollen, hash to charas. Sagada is famous for its pollen and hash. its very easy to get any cannabis products here. the police will only catch you if you smoke near the station, otherwise its okay, you can smoke in your room or better yet in the mountains while doing a treck. Sagada is about 14hrs from manila, you take a bus that goes straight to Bagiou the you take another one that goes to Sagada, the ride is pretty rough but when you get there its woth it. The locals speak impecable english.
Banawe- is home to the famous Ifugao rice terraces. It is also home to some sweet hash and weed. Although the locals are tolerant it is somewhat of a second rate Sagada. If you look like you toke kids will come up to you and offer hash.
Pasay- go to ‘o farrel street (along park ave.) and ask around for butch he’ll hook you up with a sweet 5er. that’s about 50grams of weed.

and also: “Baguio- Baguio is 6 hours from Manila by bus. Get yourself to Cubao and ask where the bus station is. Once you arrive get to “Botanical Garden” and the adjacent parks.You’ll know your in the right place because there are LOTS of horses for horseback riding everywhere, and it reeks of horseshit at the entrances!!! Tell one of the horse guys “Marijuana?”. He will ask you how much,he’ll leave and come right back,pay,and puff away!!!!!!!!!!! In Baguio never give them the money before you get the weed!!! Baguio is one of the largest manufacturers of cannabis in Asia, and its only a 5 mile town!!!!!!!!!
Malate- Find Pablo Ocampo Street, and locate Vito Cruz Cityland. Directly in front of the building, and across the street, there are a group of tricycle drivers(Yellow Tricycles). Get the attention of one of the drivers,or you might go so far as to get inside the tricycle. Once your in the tricycle he’ll probably ask you “Where to BOSS” or something to that effect. Then just tell him “Marijuana my friend?”. He will understand and probably just nod his head yes! Then you make your order. Before I found my current hydroponics dealer I did exactly this EVERYDAY!!! Once you make a good deal, get the guys cell number so you can text contact him during your next craving! Conceal your address and name!!! Your on your way to a Shitty stone, but its better than nada!!! I know my fellow Cannaseurs agree!!!!”

Marijuana prices: It’s quite cheap in manila, they sell weed in very small bags that are good to fill a joint, we payed about 100 pesos (2 dollars) for 7 of those bags.
and a recent report added: “Kilo from $380 Qty deals will get 2 to 3 foot “stalks” unpressed. Nice, sometimes seedless, sticky, available next day., quality varies shipment to shipment.

Smaller Deals Quality may vary. Street dealers will charge $50 US for a pressed amount the size of a Marlbor Box.”

another reporter added:
“$1=Php 50
1 kilo of brick weed (yuck) Php 3000
1 kilo of unpressed stalks PHP 5000
You can buy a 5er which means Php 500 you get 3-5 unpressed stalks a “tea bag” is about Php 50
hash- php 80 a gram (sagada)
pollen- php 60 a gram (sagada)”

and also: “Baguio-15g(Midz)=P1000($20 US)
1 Kilo(Midz)=P2500($60 US)
15g(Baguio Gold)=P4000($80 US)

1 Hash joint= P10($0.60)
Malate- 1 Bag(Roughly half gram)(Regz,Street Weed)=P20($0.40 US)(I recommend u buy about 20 Bags for each person in your group to enjoy a long night of blazing)
Cebu-Pre rolled pinner joints(Coin Toss on Quality)”

Brands: Sagada sensi
Bagiou gold
Laguna weed

More information: As in all Asia you have to be very careful who you ask, cause sometimes you feel like everybody is just trying to rip you off, but once you meet the right people you will see..:) smoking with filipinos and filipinas is very cool, they are super friendly and you can be quite amazed by the way the think..good luck.

My Manila Experience

I’ve been to Manila twice and never spent a night alone. Each night with sexy, beautiful little creatures. I love this fucking country.

Me in Philly

Ladyboy Survival Guide : Essential tips!

Posted in Cambodia, Ladyboys, Sex & Dating, Thailand, The Philippines, Travel Cheats with tags , , , , , on April 19, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Thai Ladyboy

Yes, I’m sure you’re all convinced you can tell a guy in a dress!

Many an intrepid traveler will tell you they can tell a ladyboy a mile away. That may be true 90% of the time, but many a proud man has let the other 10% slip through the gaydar.

There is a reason why so many men fall for it!

Common myths can steer you wrong – and get you dong!

A ladybody CAN be:

  • Beautiful
  • Slim & Petite
  • Curvaceous
  • Very Feminine

They can get their Adam’s apple Shaved!

Implants and facial reconstuction!

They can even have the chop (vaginoplasty)!

So what can you do?

How to prevent bringing that beautiful ‘girl’  home and end up crying in the corner washing your mouth out with rice wine!?

"But he was really hot.."

Here are the naughty nomad’s  guaranteed ways to tell a ladyboy  :

Tip 1)  They are suspiciously easy or forward.

Remember – they’re guy too, they just wanna get laid.

Tip 2) The tit test

A  maneuver that could save your ass! Implants are harder then normal breasts. A cheeky squeeze may seem rude, but can reveal a dude!

Tip 3) Just fucking ask them!

Ladyboy’s usually don’t bother lying if you ask them. As for South East Asian  girls – they won’t be insulted! They know there’s loads of hot ladyboys. Plus if they are ‘all women’, you have just knocked them down a peg with a neg.

Tip 4) They’re strangely attractive

Not just attractive, strangely attractive. The hottest girl I saw in Phnom Penh turned out the be a man! Remember there’s something about Mirium?

Tip 5) They have a penis

Boys have penises and girls have vaginas.

If she has a penis, you have two choices

a) run

b) think to yourself  “Man! It’s been a really long time…. maybe I’ll just ask them to turn around. I don’t want to be rude… Oh gee I really shouldn’t… well what if I… oh… hey…hey that’s…. that’s not bad… well it’s too late now I guess…”

Disclaimer: Option b) may include side effects like suicide and diarrhoea.

If it looks a vagina it probably is. Let your nose double check if you’re really paranoid!

I hope this guide helps you.

But remember! Not every girl who walks you to you in a bar  in South East Asia is a ladyboy…  some just want to rob you or get a passport!*


* Generalisation  for comic effect, not the view of the author. The author has fortunately never got off with a ladyboy.