Archive for the Belarus Category

Minsk City Guide

Posted in Belarus, City Guides with tags , , , on April 27, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Minsk (-25c)

Minsk in a word: COLD!
C.O.H: 3 / 5
Q.O.G: 4 / 5
S.L.T: 1 / 5  (but didn’t stop me)
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer:Around  €2.50
Bed: €35 for a single room
Bud: €20 per gram :/
Board: €3 for a meal.
Budget other: The visa is very expensive and A PAIN to get.
Currency Conversion


Minsk is cold. When I was there it was -25 degrees celcius. The city is has a cold war and lonely feel to it. The people are the best thing about Minsk.

The Girls

Typical Minski

They call Belarus a supermodel breeding ground. It’s true. Tall, slim and stunning – Belarussians are attractive by any standard. They may look unhappy, but behind their stern façades they’re extremely warm and make a serious effort to make you feel welcome. A lot of the younger generation have some English. You can hook up here in pubs but know that people in Minsk are very “cliquey”. I’ve you’re going solo, try get on-line to arrange a date before hand. The girl will expect you to pay for everything and a lot of them live with their parents. This is great place to meet girls with beauty and brains, as many of them need to get educated to get the fuck outta there!

Nightlife Recommendations


Me in Graffiti

Located on the ground floor of a student dorm, this is the one the coolest places I’ve been to in Eastern Europe!  You have to go to the Friday Funk party when this small, atmospheric place is pumping! Hot girls dancing on the bar and the best DJs I’ve ever heard. The music is so funky EVERYONE is in the party mood. The crowd here is down to earth and girls here are super approachable. Cheap drinks too! Strongly Recommended!!

More Graffiti

Drozhzhi United

An Irish pub were you have some hope of finding some English speakers, this place is a refreshing slice of the firmilar in the middle of gloomy Minsk. It’s a cosy expat hang out that’s nice and busy most nights.

Getting High (courtesy of

Legislation: Just like most other psychedelic substances, marijuana is highly illegal in Belarus. The law used to distinguish between possession and distribution, which meant people with small amounts could get away for a fine or a suspended sentence. Now the laws have tightened, and depending on your situation and on the mood of the law enforcement officials, possessing any amounts of ganja can cost you anything from huge bribes for several authorities to 8-10 years in prison. It may be easier for a tourist to bribe his or her way out, but it will be a pain in the ass anyway and testing your luck is not recommended.

Law enforcement: It is usually not that easy to get out of trouble as in neighboring countries, like Russia, Ukraine, or Baltic states, where tourists are aplenty and the police are more relaxed towards these things, while bribes are more common. Cops in Minsk are even rumored to break car windows with their elbows now and then, as soon as they see people smoking in the vehicle. Some tell stories about undercover policemen offering drugs to people and arresting them later on, but this is really rare. On the whole, expect a law enforcement agent to mean business if you got caught. Low-level authorities are not that easy to be bribed, as anti-corruption laws are strict. The legislation gets more flexible for you if you have contacts among the officials of higher ranks.

Stay away from dealers and known drug spots as much as you can, as a police raid may happen at any time and you might be busted for no good reason. The police got a plan of raids and arrests they have to stick you, so even if a cop is friendly to you, he will have to detain you because of the plan. Smoking in public is absolutely not recommended, and if you have to smoke outdoors, make sure you control the situation so that no local militia come out of the blue. Lighting up your pipe in the country is in most cases a better idea than doing so in urban areas, so if you have buddies with a car, go rural, if it’s summer.

The general strategy if you want to get high in Minsk is getting a local acquaintance who has experience with these things. Attempting to get high on your own is risky.

Where to buy marijuana: Street purchases are extremely rare even for local marijuana consumers. It is not common to buy drugs in the streets of Belarus at all, and it will stay uncommon for the nearest years. Minsk does not get lots of tourists and the laws are tough, so street trade is nonexistent. Little has been heard of drug deals in bars, too.

One of the known spots is Zimniaya street in the industrial suburbs of Minsk, a scary location with shabby houses inhabited by mean-looking gypsies and lurking gangs on plenty of cheap booze. The gypsies are mostly engaged in heroin distribution, but if you would like to see the seamy side of Belarusian drug life, pick a daring local who would take you there. Getting some weed is possible, but this is a quest few locals dare to embark on.

In general, probably the only relatively safe and reliable way of getting any weed in Minsk is using your local friend who has contacts. Though marijuana is not popular at all, unlike alcohol, many young people at least know someone who might know someone. All you have to do is get into the right company. Don’t discuss drug-related issues with people you don’t quite know. Try not to get involved into the process of obtaining weed as much as you can. The safest way is to have it delivered to you, but the price will be higher.

Marijuana prices: Asking Minsk locals about weed brands in most cases sounds like bitter irony. As marijuana distribution is heavily oppressed, you don’t have much to choose from. You can get clipped leaves for about $10-$15 per matchbox. The quality varies between very low and average, though the high will be lighter and less lasting.

If you are very lucky, you can get locally produced buds of comparatively high quality. In most cases you will get either leaves or rough, heavy skunk. The price for buds and skunk is normally $15-$20 per gram. Don’t be surprised by the size of this ‘gram,’ it will be probably something more like 0.6-0.7 real grams. It is perfectly normal for Minsk, and customer care in this business is poor.

Hash is uncommon, but if there is some, the prices will be the same as skunk. If your local guide knows someone serious, discounts on major purchases can be offered. The skunk usually delivers a hard, powerful high which is a lot less coarse and physical than Amsterdam brands.

More information: Watch out. It is advised not to carry drug-related paraphernalia and marijuana when you take a walk through the street. If you have to have these things on you, try to stay out of trouble. Though there are lots of policemen in the streets, they don’t search and arrest people for no reason at all. Though, if you do something seriously illegal, it may be dangerous, as even a pipe can be counted as crime evidence.

Try to smoke indoors or in a company of people who own a car which can take you out of dangerous areas right away.

My Minsk Experience

I got pick-pocketed on the platform of Minsk metro station. My wallet with over €100 in it! And all my cards! I ran and told the police in my broken Russian. THEY STOPPED THE TRAINS! Then they got on the video cameras and GOT THE BITCH! Got everything back! Talk about lucky. I couch surfed the second night there and my hosts threw a huge house party in their small student apartment! Brilliant. It’s was a Hawaii theme. Girls in bikinis and coconuts. They even had a magician and performers! Got totally stoned and girls were chatting me up all night, curious to talk to the western guy. One girl in particular caught my eye and we really hit it off, but privacy was non-existent and I had get the train to Kiev the next morning – pity. Maybe some other time. Belarussian girls are cool.  Some pics of the party below. Notice only 1 other guy!

How to Slay a Vampire ;)

Posted in Belarus, Moldova, Romania, Russia, Russia, Sex & Dating, Ukraine, Vampires with tags , , , , , on April 22, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

DO NOT READ: if you are one of those politically correct wankers or have a vagina… or fangs.  This author is not Anti-Vampire or culturally insensitive, but he does  rock.  He also enjoys spicy food, and has a thing for alternative chicks.  This article is for entertainment purposes only. Now…

What if I told Vampires were REAL?

Would you believe me?

I’n not talking about little goth kids who cut themselves and

I’m not talking about fairytale beasts. I’m talking about REAL vampires.

What if I told you there were creatures of the night who

  • File teeth/ get implants in order to possess Fangs.
  • Leave bite marks & drink blood.
  • Perform sensual satanic rituals.
  • Dress in erotic Gothic attire to seduce you.

But blood isn’t what they’re after. These vampires thrive on sex for their survival. Sex is used by these wicked temptresses as validation to make up for the love Daddy didn’t give them.

And guess what? – You could be that validation!

Real vampires are originally Slavic not Romanian (deriving from the serbian word vampir) and find their origins in the depths of Eastern Europe and parts of the Balkans.  Ideally they have pale complexions, slim bodies and hypnotic eyes. Many vampires are bi-sexual.


Female vampires are a rare and kinky breed. Few men have slay one.

Of course by slay I mean had sex with.  And by kinky I mean HOLY SHIT!

My slayer story is for another blog, but I hope this guide will help you get your own damp vamp!

Good Luck!

CAUTION:  Hunting vampires is only for the most dedicated and daring.

The Hunting Ground

You need to actually GO to Eastern Europe or the Balkans.  The best hunting ground is in Ukraine, home to the most beautiful women in Europe. Russian visas are a pain and Transylvanian vampires are usually wrote-off Romanian wannabes. Because there are a RIDICLOUS amount of stunning women in Ukraine, many girls turn vamp to give themselves an edge.

Vital Preparations

Vampires are rarely seen. Get online and message some vampires to arrange dates before you go over.  Browse the social networking sites. Ukrainian/Moldavian/Belorussian girls  are more than happy to go out with a western guy. Vampires are no different. Trust me, I’ve met girls from all these countries.  Learning a few words of Russian will increase you chances of success by 300%.

Slay your Vampire

Generally in  Slavic nations, the man ALWAYS pays for drinks. Some, more worldly Slavs understand you’re a westerner and will offer to split the bill but bear in mind it is NOT common in these countries. Vampire exude sexuality and can at first seem intimidating. Play it cool, and after a few drinks  they will be biting you, sucking your neck and sticking their touge in your ear.  It time for the slay. Take them home for the most kinky, beastly night of your life.


I hope you’ve had fun with this guide . Feel free to rate this article and leave comments!