Part 2: Best of the Balkans (Top 5)

This post is continued from Part 1, so backtrack if you haven’t seen it already. The following destinations were chosen based on roughly the same criteria I used for my Top 10 Destinations in South East Asia. In short – charm, girls and fun; I aim to be objective is this regard. So let’s go…

Naughty Nomad’s

Top 5 Destinations in the Balkans

5. Belgrade, Serbia

Belgrade by night

What’s its Charm?
Belgrade has some really nice pedestrian streets and a stroll up to Kalemegdan fortress is truly romantic, especially under snow fall.

What’s Fun?
The drinks are cheap and the nightlife is legendary throughout Eastern Europe.

And the Girls?
There are more blondes here than other parts of the Balkans. If that’s your thing here’s the place to be!

Bottom line: A walk around Kalemegdan and the famed nightlife gets this place on the list.

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4. Sarajevo, Bosnia & Herzegovina

Not as peaceful as it seems...

What’s its Charm?
Old town rocks!!! The Muslim influence is very visible.

What’s Fun?
Just hanging out, smoking sheesha and soaking up the atmosphere of Stari Grad (old town). The nightlife here is insane, the weekend’s here are actually too crazy. See link below.

And the Girls?
Varied, in a good way. See my Sarajevo city guide for a full breakdown.

Bottom line: One of the coolest cities in all of Europe.

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3. Hvar Island, Croatia

Port side

What’s its Charm?
It’s a beautiful island on the Dalmatian coast, need I say more?

What’s Fun?
This is the NUMBER 1 party spot on the Adriactic. Expect to go to bed when the sun comes up. There is also plenty of watersports and things to do.

And the Girls?
Expect to get laid. Check out my Hvar Island guide for a full breakdown.

Bottom line: Avoid in low season. Come here is want to seriously rip it up. I loved it.

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2. Skopje, Macedonia

More than meet the eye!

What’s its Charm?
A cute old town, cheap beer and friendly locals.

What’s Fun?
Everynight here is an adventure! Weed and women are plentiful.

And the Girls?
I love Macedonian girls, easily the friendliest in the region.  See my Skopje city guide for a full breakdown.

Bottom line: Macedonian girls will make you want to stay. I’ve been here twice and it’s still the first place I’d go back to in the Balkans.

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1. Montenegro

A view from Kotor fortress

What’s its Charm?
Move over Tallin, Montenegro shits over anything I’ve seen in Europe. To try and describe the beauty of places like Kotor and Budva is futile. You need to come here. This country had me speechless.

What’s Fun?
Not only is Montenegro visibly awesome, a trip to Budva will have you raving. This an Eastern European party mecca! Click link below.

And the Girls?
Wow. Girls from all of EE come here… Like Hvar, take your pick! Quality is even better here. Check out my Budva city guide for a full breakdown.

Bottom line: It’s Naughty Nomad’s number 1 for a reason. GO! On that note, I suspect low season might be a bit sedated if you’re looking to party.

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Here’s a list of ALL my Eastern European city guides:

Athens, Greece

Bucharest, Romania

Budapest, Hungary

Budva, Montenegro

Chisinau, Moldova

Dubrovnik, Croatia

Hvar, Croatia

Kiev, Ukraine

Minsk, Belarus

Ohrid, Macedonia

Pristina, Kosovo

Riga, Latvia

Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina

Skopje, Macedonia

Tallinn, Estonia

Tirana, Albania

Thessaloniki, Greece

Zadar, Croatia

Sarajevo City Guide

Old Town's the place to be

Sarajevo in a word: Contrasting.

Chance of Hooking up: 3.5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 3 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €1.50 for a 330ml bottle.
Bed: €12 for a private room.
Bud: €5 per gram
Board: €3 for a local dish.
Budget other: It’s €12 for a tour of the tunnels.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Stari Grad (old town) makes Sarajevo one of the most endearing and unique capitals in Eastern Europe. The Islamic and Ottoman influence is also very visible and adds an exciting dynamic to the city.  You will find more hijabs here than anywhere else on Continental Europe. The ethnic mix is refreshing and the night life is hopping on the weekends.

The Girls

Miss Bosnia, Sanja Tunjic

Muslims, Croats & Serbs represent the ethnic make up of the city.  The general standard of women is not quite as impressive as in let’s say, Croatia or Serbia, but this is Eastern Europe, so the standard is still relatively high. Some of the darker Muslim girls can be especially gorgeous. Looks aside, Bosnians tend to be much more friendlier than their neighbours. This is in part due to lack of tourism and part due to travel restrictions. Westerners can expect girls to have good English and be quite receptive, even shy once you start speaking with them. Day game and pipelining is highly recommended, as many nightspots have unfavourable sex ratios in the region of 60/40. One night stands happen, but are not as commonplace as in surrounding countries. For more beautiful Bosnian babes click here.

Nightlife Recommendations

At night, the hijabs come off and the freaks come out. Sarajevo is rockin’, even  hectic on weekends. With so many options, I would need to return to justify a full breakdown. These recommendations are subjective. Personally, I’d prefer Sarajevo on during weekdays as most places on the weekend are too packed.  All the below recommendations are within walking distance from Stari Grad.

City Pub

A good pre-club choice with plenty of people. Busy, but not so packed to prevent starting a giant conga line.  Outside is fantastic for approaching girls. 3 of our group closed in this place.

Havana

You will more than likely end up here a some stage. This place is much better during weekdays with a more chilled out vibe and live music. On the weekends it’s too loud and overcrowded with cock.

Pirate Pub

This bar and the bar beside it were great craic. Granted, we were dressed as pirates so we got a sterling reception. Avoid Pirate pub on Saturday, it’s fucking mental. The bar beside it on the other hand had the perfect capacity for a Saturday.

*Another source recommends Sloga rock club.

My Sarajevo Experience

I was here for a weekend with 3 other amigos during the Siege of the Adriatic. Every single one of us hooked up in one form or another. However, none of  the girls in question were locals. I was very naughty and pulled a sexy Argentine right behind her boyfriend’s back. We all loved the city and I hope to return. I imagine this place would be very romantic in the wintertime snow.

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Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

5 reasons you should peacock more

So me and 3 friends are on our 19th consecutive night dressed as Irish/Mexican Pirates. Last night, in the siege of Sarajevo, all four of us hooked up with girls.  I even managed to swoop a sexy Argentine behind her boyfriend’s back. Guys – don’t bring your girlfriends to hostels! Beware of boisterous buccaneers who will have their way with your women.. ARRRGHH!!!

It seems the more ridiculous we look, the more fuckable we become.  The local men look on in disdain, while the women giggle and gravitate towards us. Every hostel we go to, we manage to get everyone out on a pirate pub crawl! Everyone wants to roll the crazy guys with sombreros, flashing LED swords, water pistols, horns & party hats.

Need more convincing?

Here are 5 reasons you should peacock more…

1. You feel like a beautiful women

Imagine walking into a bar and everyone turns to check you out. A privilege reserved for supermodels and porn stars? Hell no. When you peakcock you get an absurd amount of attention. Men get jealous, women get wet. It’s a powerful feeling. You won’t want to look normal ever again.

2. You convey confidence and a good sense of humour

If you are congruent and comfortable with your eccentricities, it conveys confidence. Women like confidence. If you look ridiculous, it shows you don’t take yourself too seriously. Classic cocky/funny even before you open your mouth; a pre-DHV.

3. It’s easier to open sets

If anything, it is very likely you will be approached. Sometimes, you can just stand there and let them come to you.  Girls will want to be in pictures with you and your friends. When you peacock, sets open like crazy.

4. You can use props to anchor and create jealously plot lines

If you bring ridiculous props you can use them as anchors to hook multiple sets. Imagine going into a bar and putting a funny hat on a beautiful women and her friend. Then another one on another girl across the room. You build social proof, you’ve anchored two sets and creates potential jealously plot-lines between girls. You could do all this in 30 seconds and already be at the bar getting yourself a drink.

5. It’s really fun!!!

Halloween every night!!! WAY HAY! You never have a bad night dressed like an absolute idiot! At least you’ll get some funny pics…

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For anything interested in this post, I’d recommend reading the Venusian Arts Handbook by Mystery.