Archive for the Moldova Category

Chişinău City Guide

Posted in City Guides, Moldova with tags , , , , on April 28, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Chisinau Apartment block

Chisinau in a word: Deceptive.
C.O.H: 3 / 5
Q.O.G: 4 / 5
S.T.L: 2 / 5  (just bribe em!)
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer:Around  €0.80
Bed: €12 for a private room
Bud: €20 per matchbox
Board: €2.50 for a pizza!
Budget other: If you’re going to Tiraspol,
prepare to shell out some bribe money.
Currency Conversion


Chisinau may not be very pretty but the women sure are. Most people who come here say it’s depressing, grey and no fun. But with a few tips, you won’t be one of those people (and I was there in winter).

Moldovan Export

The Girls

OK, so Chisinau has little to offer traditional tourists, but if you like red wine and good conversation with smart & beautiful women, you will love this small ex-soviet city. They are hot! Moldovan girls can range from sexy blonde Slavs  to softer Romanian Brunettes. Moldova is the poorest country in Europe, therefore many of the women get highly educated so they have to ability to emigrate. They are sophisticated and open minded and are more than happy to go for a drink with a western guy. The amount of English speakers is better here than a lot of Eastern Europe. They will expect the guy to pay for drinks, but Moldova makes great wine and it’s cheap. What more could you want? Some prep work helps, Moldovan girls are a lot more receptive to arranging a meet up via the internet when compared to girls in the Balkans or Baltics.

Nightlife Recommendations

Be careful or you could get SCREWED with the bill. Some places are seriously expensive. I found a great little place PERFECT for a romantic evening.

Zone Romantica

Near the main square with a quiet and relaxing vibe. I used to take dates here and they loved it. A bottle of red wine and a cheeseboard was less than $10. Most Moldovan girls drink wine.


Soho is the biggest club, but I preferred Star track.

Getting High

You need to talk with the hostel owners or some of the local students. I was lucky because one of my date smoked. She told me it’s hard to get but some people grow it in the countryside. The police won’t even recognise the smell, but if they do catch you a €20 bribe does the trick. Corruption is rife. It’s around €20 a matchbox. 🙂

My Chisinau Experience

I got arrested twice in one day on a trip to Tirsapol in the self procliamed Republic of Transnistria (the same place Style and Mystery had trouble). Once was for ‘impersonation of a police officer’ for wearing camo combats. I had to pay €20 to get out. 30 minutes before that, I was done for having a picture of a naked Moldovan girl on my camera! (they check camera at the border) It was another €20, but it would have been twice that if I didn’t speak some Russian.  Apart from that I loved Moldova.  I was in Chisinau 3 nights and arranged a date every day with 3 different girls (via social networking sites). One of them had only a few teeth (didn’t show that in her profile!) but the other two were sexy,  smart and I made out with both of them. I even took one home on the second meet up! This is great place to date high quality women.

How to Slay a Vampire ;)

Posted in Belarus, Moldova, Romania, Russia, Russia, Sex & Dating, Ukraine, Vampires with tags , , , , , on April 22, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

DO NOT READ: if you are one of those politically correct wankers or have a vagina… or fangs.  This author is not Anti-Vampire or culturally insensitive, but he does  rock.  He also enjoys spicy food, and has a thing for alternative chicks.  This article is for entertainment purposes only. Now…

What if I told Vampires were REAL?

Would you believe me?

I’n not talking about little goth kids who cut themselves and

I’m not talking about fairytale beasts. I’m talking about REAL vampires.

What if I told you there were creatures of the night who

  • File teeth/ get implants in order to possess Fangs.
  • Leave bite marks & drink blood.
  • Perform sensual satanic rituals.
  • Dress in erotic Gothic attire to seduce you.

But blood isn’t what they’re after. These vampires thrive on sex for their survival. Sex is used by these wicked temptresses as validation to make up for the love Daddy didn’t give them.

And guess what? – You could be that validation!

Real vampires are originally Slavic not Romanian (deriving from the serbian word vampir) and find their origins in the depths of Eastern Europe and parts of the Balkans.  Ideally they have pale complexions, slim bodies and hypnotic eyes. Many vampires are bi-sexual.


Female vampires are a rare and kinky breed. Few men have slay one.

Of course by slay I mean had sex with.  And by kinky I mean HOLY SHIT!

My slayer story is for another blog, but I hope this guide will help you get your own damp vamp!

Good Luck!

CAUTION:  Hunting vampires is only for the most dedicated and daring.

The Hunting Ground

You need to actually GO to Eastern Europe or the Balkans.  The best hunting ground is in Ukraine, home to the most beautiful women in Europe. Russian visas are a pain and Transylvanian vampires are usually wrote-off Romanian wannabes. Because there are a RIDICLOUS amount of stunning women in Ukraine, many girls turn vamp to give themselves an edge.

Vital Preparations

Vampires are rarely seen. Get online and message some vampires to arrange dates before you go over.  Browse the social networking sites. Ukrainian/Moldavian/Belorussian girls  are more than happy to go out with a western guy. Vampires are no different. Trust me, I’ve met girls from all these countries.  Learning a few words of Russian will increase you chances of success by 300%.

Slay your Vampire

Generally in  Slavic nations, the man ALWAYS pays for drinks. Some, more worldly Slavs understand you’re a westerner and will offer to split the bill but bear in mind it is NOT common in these countries. Vampire exude sexuality and can at first seem intimidating. Play it cool, and after a few drinks  they will be biting you, sucking your neck and sticking their touge in your ear.  It time for the slay. Take them home for the most kinky, beastly night of your life.


I hope you’ve had fun with this guide . Feel free to rate this article and leave comments!