Archive for Bali

Kuta City Guide (Bali)

Posted in City Guides, Indonesia with tags , , , , , , , , on July 7, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Kuta Beach

Kuta in a word: Party!

Chance of Hooking up: 4.5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.5 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 2.5 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €1 for a bintang.
Bed: €5 for the cheapest private room
Bud: €5 per gram
Board: €2-3 for most meals.
Budget other: Rent a moto and see the real Bali.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Some say Bali is too touristy, uninspiring and over-rated. BULLSHIT. Bali is the fucking business. Beaches, babes and cheap cocktails; what more could you want? Kuta is the island’s premier destination for night-life and it certainly doesn’t disappoint.

The Girls

Miss Bali

Bali is a suburb for women. You have lots of options in terms of ethnic groups, each of which have varying degrees of quality and difficulty. On the lower end of the scale is the drunk Aussie girls; an easy lay perhaps but quality is generally poor. A much better option is cheeky Javanites; promisous Muslims who come to Bali to bask in relative liberalism. Many are drop-dead gorgeous and easy enough to pull. Be wary, some are semi-pros. Then there are the odd Eastern European and Japanese girls, which needless to say, are stunning. They get creeped on constantly, so require a little more effort. Finally there is my pick: local Balinese girls. Beautiful, feminine and eloquent, a Bali girl is for keeps. They don’t screw around and have good values (having children out of wedlock is seriously frowned upon).

Kuta chicks

That said, if they like you they will have no problem being intimate with you. These sweet girls really know how to please a man and their accents will make you melt. If you want to hook up with one I recommend day game as most have day jobs in Kuta. At night, they hang out in groups with their friends. Like most women in the region, they prefer westerners. If I had to marry any girl from South East Asia, she would be either Filipina or Balinese. I hope you find your Bali girl 🙂

Nightlife Recommendations

Kuta has plenty of options in terms of nightlife. More than likely you will find yourself on Jalan Legion, which has the biggest concentration of nightspots. Go to the bounty if you want to hang out with a load of pissed Aussie students. There is a lot of cool bars on Jalan Poppie 2 with live reggae music most nights, a good starting point.

M-bar-go

Good crowd, good music. This place provides a good medium between the bounty and the next place I recommend…

Sky Garden

A wee bit seedy, but I love this place. Three stories of sexiness. No matter your taste, this is the place to be if you want to get laid. Both me and my mate had no problem scoring here.

Bali PR girls

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Nomad’s input: Not worth it, most dealers try to rip you off and sell you absolute muck. Go for some mushrooms!

Legislation: Possession, Sale, and Consumption of Marijuana is Illegal and punishable with prison 10 years prison and the death penalty is given for trafficking.

Law enforcement: The laws are enforced strongly. Police will except bribes, and generally know not to hassle tourists without due cause.

Where to buy marijuana in bali: Head down to Poppies lane in Kuta and walk around the square that area has a high concentration of dealers; also you can hookup from other tourists, particularly Aussie surfer dudes. I suggest u smoke a bit of it first to test it, I couldn’t even manage to score real weed despite the myriad of dealers.

Bali Marijuana prices: Aceh Weed and Nepalese hash 500,000 Rupiah for a good 10 grams, though make sure you bargain you will initially be charged much more and u can get the price down to 350,000 Rupiah. Australian hydro varies, Aussies get better prices than others, though its about 30 USD for a gram, but as I said earlier prices vary greatly ive heard people saying they’ve paid as much as 80 USD for a gram.

My Kuta Experience

After an incredible bike trip around the island, I landed in Kuta for 4 nights. I didn’t even stay my room once. I approached a tight Javanese girl the first night and went back to hers. Earlier the same night, I gave out my number to a cute Balinese beautician (she was only 4’5!). She text me the next day and asked me over to her place. We really clicked. I had a few dates with other girls each day but I just going back to her; it was hard to upgrade. The last night she experienced her first mushrooms. It was my first trip with a women and it was an unforgettable experience. She cried her heart out when I was leaving; I even shed a tear or two. 😦

Top 10 Destinations in South East Asia

Posted in Asia, Top 10 picks in South East Asia, Travel with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 8, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

I am lucky enough to have visited every country in South East Asia.

OK, so I haven’t been to every inch of the place but I’ve a better angle than most so I’d thought I give you guys my top 10 picks!

First let me give you the criteria.

These places/countries are judged on:

  • NBNatural beauty / Historical wonders
  • UE – Unique Experiences offered
  • CH – The Chill-out Factor (Off the beaten track, smoke etc.)
  • CR – The Craic! (Irish term meaning fun or entertainment)
  • X – The Girls  (the real X factor)

So here they are…

Naughty Nomad’s

TOP 10 Spots in South East Asia!

😉

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10. Flores, Indonesia

Komodo Dragon

In a word: Wild.

NB – Diverse & Dramatic.

UE – Volcanoes &  Dragons.

CH – Few Tourists here.

CR – Restricted to Weekends.

X – Cute accents; pity there’s not more of them.

Bottom Line: Launch Pad for Komodo and home to some of the most dramatic volcano scenery in the world.

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9. Vang Vieng, Laos

Riverside bar; drugs on the menu.

In a word: Lazy.

NB – Winding Rivers through beautiful karst scenery.

UE – Tubing down the river, drugs on the menu.

CHVery chilled but too many tourists. Low season is better.

CR – Riverside bars with ‘happy’ pizzas and friends on TV. Night-life limited.

X – A big no no. $500 fine if you are caught with a local girl.

Bottom Line: Great place to flake out for a few days, but no Boom Boom.

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8. Myanmar

Me in Bagan, Myanmar

In a word: Bizarre.

NB – Bagan puts Angkor Wat to shame.

UE – This is why this place is on the list. No American brands, strange clothing, painted faces, fashion shows in every bar and no mobile phones.

CH – Horse carts and only hardcore tourists.

CR – The odd full moon festival and driving the horse cart pissed.

X – Sigh, no phones and the girls don’t drink…

Bottom Line: This country is the most unique in the S.E. Asia and leaves more memories than any other, but night-life is a little frustrating.

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7. Ha Long Bay, Vietnam

Drop anchor and light up.

In a word: Popular.

NB – Sunsets over the South China sea accompanied by 1,960 islets.

UE – Spending an exciting night on a Vietnamese boat.

CH – Rack and pack em in the day but lovely when the sun goes down.

CR – Some weed, liquor and midnight swim anyone?

X -Unless you got some horny Americans on your boats…

Bottom Line: It may be a tourist trap but it’s 100% worth it.

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6. Palawan, The Philippines

I took this in El Nino, Northern Palawan

In a word: Adventurous.

NB – Jungles, empty beaches and the world’s largest underground river.

UE – Epic Motorbiking trips . Canoeing to a deserted island.

CH – Your own private beach anyone? Purple Sunsets? Heaven.

CR – Diving ship wrecks and the dangerous dirt bike trails.

X -There’s always a few cuties to date in Philly…

Bottom Line: If you want  adventure, love and escapism; this is the place.

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5. Bali, Indonesia

There's a lot more than Kuta beach.

In a word: Unique.

NB – Great Beaches, beautiful landscapes and endearing rice paddies.

UE – Balinese culture; surfing; diving; motorbiking around the island.

CH – Beers on the beach are good; but a lot of tourists in Kuta.

CR – Plenty of great restaurants, live music and pumping nightspots.

X – Balinese girls are premium with good values. Other options include cheeky Javanese Muslims and crass Australian women.

Bottom Line: It may be a tourist trap but it’s 100% worth it.

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4. Cambodia (in general)

Life is cheap. My friend Dan took this one in the killing fields.

In a word: Lawless

NB – Angkor Wat.

UE – No rules. People go off the rails here.

CH – You can smoke weed out  in the open; on a beach. Nuf said.

CR – Every night is an adventure ; endless debauchery.

X – Khmer girls are cute and love foreigners.

Bottom Line: You may never leave.

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3. Phuket, Thailand

Bangla Road

In a word: Sex.

NB – It’s got a decent beach.

UE – Going to pool hall at 6am and being surrounded by gorgeous women.

CH – Flake out on the sand, oversexed and hungover.

CR – Live music and perfect for pub crawls.

X – Girls, girls and more girls…

Bottom Line: Sex, and lots of it. Spend more than a week here and you will probably catch something.

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2. Borneo, Malaysia

Me and Dan on the skywalk in Mulu, Borneo

In a word: Idyllic.

NB – Unique wildlife, pristine beaches and the world’s biggest cave.

UE – Jungle excursions and staying in long houses.

CH – Back to Nature.

CR – Fantastic pub culture. Get to Rainforest Festival in July.

X – Chinese girls here incredible attractive, probably the best in S.E Asia… They are quite friendly as well! Excellent place for dating hotties and MLTR.

Bottom Line: Something for everyone. So much to do here, not enough time. Everyday here is an absolute pleasure. You’re just ‘happy’ here.

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1. Boracay, The Philippines

What more could you want?

In a word: Paradise.

NB – White beaches, palm trees , turquoise waters and violet sunsets. Ahh!

UE – Mongolian Buffets, Mojitos and free love.

CH – In low season this place seems to good to be true. Think Disney land with no ques; hammocks and female acoustic sets.

CR – Ram-shackle discos by the beach with live music and cheap drinks.

X – Romantic, sexy and artistic; these Filipinas are addictive. Plenty of creamy Japanese and Korean tourists around too.

Bottom Line: For this nomad, this place is paradise.  Go in Low season.

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Honourable Mentions

I decided to only include places I’ve actually been in the top 10. I contacted some fellow globe-trotters to give their top 10 as well. I’d like take this opportunity to thank everyone involved! The only problem was everyone had different picks!  But it’s nice to see there was some consistencies.  Here are some other picks from fellow travellers…

  • The Malukus/ Sulawesi, Indonesia
  • Pie, Thailand
  • Aceh, Sumatra, Indonesia
  • Northern Laos
  • Hoi An, Vietnam
  • Luzon, Philippines
  • Northern Vietnam
  • Koh Phi Phi, Thailand
  • Dili, East Timor (I’ve been here, it just missed the list)

Check out my S.E Asia City Guides!

Please share your favourite places! Leave a comment below!

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