Why Number Closing is outdated

The game has changed.

Old School

Gone are the days where you ask for her number, or her for yours.

We can lay waste to the feelings of doubt and disconcerting angst, that often plagues the mind after you obtain those hopeful digits, reliable or otherwise.

That’s shit over. Number closing is outdated.

On my last birthday in September, a young Cameroonian women  of 18 approached me. Fair play to her, it appear the fruits of female empowerment in a post-feminist society have ripened. But that’s not what grabbed my attention. It was her opener.

“Hey, can I have your facebook?”

Boom! Simple and effective. The more I thought about, the more I released – my word its genius. Face-close! (you heard it here first)

Let’s look at the incredible advantages of a Face-close.

1. Screening
   Let’s face it, people are shallow. Now we can perv on potential lovers via their profile pics! Sure she looked good that night when you put the brewery out of business, but have you seen her holiday album? She’s a whale, that’s not a g-string that’s a z-string! “Remove as friend.”
2. It facilitates DHV’s (demonstrations of higher value)
   What about that pic of jumping out a plane, or wrestling a crocodile? Oh yes, women can’t help be impressed when they scroll down to find out you have a masters in Superology and speak Swahili. Your profile does all the work for you!
3. You can IM
   I ask you, is calling a girl you just met a good idea? Most younger chicks find it way too direct, forget what any book tells you. Unless you’re exceptional at thinking on your feet it’s best avoided. Then there’s texting. One can simply ignore you. I abhor those time lags too; it might as well be Morse code! Sure you have time to think about your responses, but then you got the misinterpretations and those long drawn out conversations that sometimes take over 24 hours to complete. Instant messaging provides a great medium; your language is considered, yet it’s still live communication. Facebook provides yet again. Even normal messages are better than txting or phoning.
4. It builds comfort and trust
   She’s know all about you – she’s seen your pics, your friends, your interests & knows where you went to school and what you do for a living. You’ve chatted, LOLed and even “liked” the fact her cat Mitsy was diagnosed with Diabetes. All this, and you haven’t even met. By the time you do, you’ll bed her faster than an Ikea salesman.

Now, let me share some advice. Here are two simple steps I’d recommend to ensure your profile works for you and not against you.

• Make lists. I put all women on my “chicas” list. I even divide girls into regions. I might want to talk my “Eastern Europe” girls tonight and ignore “Asia”. Furthermore, you can exclude such groups from seeing certain status updates and photo albums. Lists are great!
• Privacy & Pics. Don’t let girls see photos your tagged in. Like the one of you vomiting in a fish tank… Potential bedmates should only see what you want them to see, to paint you in the best possible light.

See what I mean?

 

So there you go. Next time you want to number close, think again.

Face-close!