Archive for girls


Posted in Poems & Limericks, Travel with tags , , on May 2, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Man! Writing these guides just brings back fond memories; the incredible excitement you feel when you get a strange new city or even a familiar favourite.

Why is it when you’re not travelling you always feel like you’re missing out on something?

…Oh, I know.  BECAUSE YOU ARE.

I look at pictures of tanned, toned half-naked ladies  and can’t help but think…

Why am I not there?

I deserve to be in a warm country over-sexed and hungover.

I’m in hibernation, spending my days inside and foraging for cash, just so I leave again! I don’t even notice Irish women. I seen them as men. I don’t even bother going out. I have ZERO interest. The only thing that perks me up is the odd Black, Asian and European girl that happens to fall into my lap. But still.. it’s just not… abroad.

Abroad is where to I want to go,

where booze is cheap and cocktails flow.

Abraod is where its nice and hot,

on hammocks chillin, smoking pot.

Abroad has sexy girls galore,

with slim, dark bodies to explore.

But here at home the standard drops,

with pasty, flabby muffin tops.

I’ve had enough, I’m outta here,

Destination: anywhere.

Seoul City Guide

Posted in City Guides, South Korea with tags , , , on April 27, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Central Seoul

Seoul in a word: Surprising.
C.O.H: 2 / 5  (for locals)
Q.O.G: 2.5 / 5
S.T.L: 2 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer:Around  €2
Bed: €12 dorm, €15-20 for private
Bud: Bad. €30+ per gram :/
Board: €7 for a good Sunday dinner.
Budget other: Taxis at night ramp up costs.

Currency Conversion


Seoul is surprising. It’s way ahead of the west in terms of technology and the lifestyle fro English-teachers over there is sweet. Unlike many of the other Asian super cities, Seoul has a nice low key appeal. The culture takes awhile to get your head around but you can fun here.

The Girls

Honey Lee: the exception!

When you actually go to Korea, the women can be quite underwhelming from what you might expect. Some may feel I’ve rated Korean girls unfairly but this is relative and I will explain why. The women have a nice light skin tone, slim bodies and great legs but their faces are normally bland and there are very few ‘beautiful’ girls. Individuality is frowned upon; it’s rare you see a girl worth turning your head for and even if you do, 80% of the time they turn out to be Japanese tourists. Places like Shanghai, Hong Kong, Tokyo and cities in South East Asia have far more beautiful women than Seoul. Girls in Seoul are interested in foreign men, but also take a bit of work as many expect you to be their boyfriend before sex. Nearly all girls live with their parents before marriage. That said, one night stands happen. Look for a girl who smokes – the social rebel. Alternatively, other ethnic groups are far more promiscuous! It’s actually easy to get laid here – the place is awash with horny English teachers who aren’t accountable to anyone. They all have their own apartment and the short-term traveller is perfect for a good fuck.

Nightlife Recommendations


Oi bar

The best place for meeting locals, but it’s a place for the weekend. It’s beside a university and many of the venues here are very unique and memorable. Check out Oi bar for the craic to begin with. No shoes allowed in this underground cave bar! Order a hookah pipe and some beers to get in the mood. Not a great place for girls though, a good pre-bar.  For girls and general good fun, a great place to go is a 3 story venue called Go Gos . The last Friday of each month in Hongdae is “Club Day”, a wristband-powered event which allows entry to more than a dozen clubs for the price of one.


Nightlife district has lots of options. Did someone say PUB CRAWL! Itaewon has something for everyone. There’s a lot of white chicks and some Korean girls looking for an English-speaking boyfriend. Itaewon is the best place to get laid. Parts of Itaewon are a little seedy, a welcome undercurrent.

Getting High (courtesy of

Nomad’s input = find the nearest Canadian!

Legislation: Any marijuana related activities are strictly illegal. If u get caught, u are lucky to be banished. You get locked up in the jail or if you are lucky enough to be rich, u can get out of it paying the very expensive fine.

Law Enforcement: The Popos are strict about marijuana. Most Korean think marijuana is a hardcore drug. There are a lot of PoPo’s snitches, So watch out.
The PoPos have all the right to search you anytime they want and have your urine tested whenever they want. They even make a deal with you. They ask you to tell 5 pot heads you know or 1 dealer, or you get locked up in the jail or get banished if you are lucky enough.(US Citizens tend to be banished more than other countries’ citizens. Remember, they can have your urine tested anytime they want and if your urine is positive for marijuana or any kinds of drug, you are doomed.

It can go either way. Most people wouldn’t know what it smells or looks like but if you get in any kind of trouble with the law you may have to take a test. Showing a positive is about the same as if they saw you smoking.

Where to buy marijuana in Seoul: In Apgujeong, there is a recently opened hookah cafe. Look for the foreigners hanging around there, just be wary of the coppers. Itaewon and Hong Dae are always good places to check out as well. a lot of young canadians come to South Korea to teach English and they all hang out in major two spots. Hong-Dea club street, and
Iteawon (there is an American army base in Iteawon, the whole place
is filled with Americans (and others – Europeans etc.)
right by the Iteawon subway station, there is a club called “Lime Light”
friday, saturday nights are packed (cover 20$), you could probably find some products there if you ask the right people at Hong-dea club street, it will be much easier to find the product. if you look closely, you could probably find bunch of guys in parking lots, corners, etc. just ask them.

Marijuana Prices in Seoul : Varies, I had a dealer who got his shipped in from America, he went for a solid 30000 won (around 30 bucks, US) a gram, he was nice as well so every time I bought, he lit up a few, free blunts with me. I’ll have to say 30,000 won-50,000 per gram.

prices are different every time, I would say around $35~50 per gram.
cheaper if they are friendly..

My Seoul Experience

I went to visit my cousin teaching English in Korea. I was there for 4 nights. He showed me all the best spots but bear in mind his priority was beer, not girls. That said, two of the nights we went out I was taken home to be used like a piece of meat. Once by a Canadian and once by an American. I had a great time here.  For those considering going over to teach English, the lifestyle over there is  better than the likes of Ireland or the U.K. Most teachers I talked to end up staying far longer than intended.

Minsk City Guide

Posted in Belarus, City Guides with tags , , , on April 27, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Minsk (-25c)

Minsk in a word: COLD!
C.O.H: 3 / 5
Q.O.G: 4 / 5
S.L.T: 1 / 5  (but didn’t stop me)
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer:Around  €2.50
Bed: €35 for a single room
Bud: €20 per gram :/
Board: €3 for a meal.
Budget other: The visa is very expensive and A PAIN to get.
Currency Conversion


Minsk is cold. When I was there it was -25 degrees celcius. The city is has a cold war and lonely feel to it. The people are the best thing about Minsk.

The Girls

Typical Minski

They call Belarus a supermodel breeding ground. It’s true. Tall, slim and stunning – Belarussians are attractive by any standard. They may look unhappy, but behind their stern façades they’re extremely warm and make a serious effort to make you feel welcome. A lot of the younger generation have some English. You can hook up here in pubs but know that people in Minsk are very “cliquey”. I’ve you’re going solo, try get on-line to arrange a date before hand. The girl will expect you to pay for everything and a lot of them live with their parents. This is great place to meet girls with beauty and brains, as many of them need to get educated to get the fuck outta there!

Nightlife Recommendations


Me in Graffiti

Located on the ground floor of a student dorm, this is the one the coolest places I’ve been to in Eastern Europe!  You have to go to the Friday Funk party when this small, atmospheric place is pumping! Hot girls dancing on the bar and the best DJs I’ve ever heard. The music is so funky EVERYONE is in the party mood. The crowd here is down to earth and girls here are super approachable. Cheap drinks too! Strongly Recommended!!

More Graffiti

Drozhzhi United

An Irish pub were you have some hope of finding some English speakers, this place is a refreshing slice of the firmilar in the middle of gloomy Minsk. It’s a cosy expat hang out that’s nice and busy most nights.

Getting High (courtesy of

Legislation: Just like most other psychedelic substances, marijuana is highly illegal in Belarus. The law used to distinguish between possession and distribution, which meant people with small amounts could get away for a fine or a suspended sentence. Now the laws have tightened, and depending on your situation and on the mood of the law enforcement officials, possessing any amounts of ganja can cost you anything from huge bribes for several authorities to 8-10 years in prison. It may be easier for a tourist to bribe his or her way out, but it will be a pain in the ass anyway and testing your luck is not recommended.

Law enforcement: It is usually not that easy to get out of trouble as in neighboring countries, like Russia, Ukraine, or Baltic states, where tourists are aplenty and the police are more relaxed towards these things, while bribes are more common. Cops in Minsk are even rumored to break car windows with their elbows now and then, as soon as they see people smoking in the vehicle. Some tell stories about undercover policemen offering drugs to people and arresting them later on, but this is really rare. On the whole, expect a law enforcement agent to mean business if you got caught. Low-level authorities are not that easy to be bribed, as anti-corruption laws are strict. The legislation gets more flexible for you if you have contacts among the officials of higher ranks.

Stay away from dealers and known drug spots as much as you can, as a police raid may happen at any time and you might be busted for no good reason. The police got a plan of raids and arrests they have to stick you, so even if a cop is friendly to you, he will have to detain you because of the plan. Smoking in public is absolutely not recommended, and if you have to smoke outdoors, make sure you control the situation so that no local militia come out of the blue. Lighting up your pipe in the country is in most cases a better idea than doing so in urban areas, so if you have buddies with a car, go rural, if it’s summer.

The general strategy if you want to get high in Minsk is getting a local acquaintance who has experience with these things. Attempting to get high on your own is risky.

Where to buy marijuana: Street purchases are extremely rare even for local marijuana consumers. It is not common to buy drugs in the streets of Belarus at all, and it will stay uncommon for the nearest years. Minsk does not get lots of tourists and the laws are tough, so street trade is nonexistent. Little has been heard of drug deals in bars, too.

One of the known spots is Zimniaya street in the industrial suburbs of Minsk, a scary location with shabby houses inhabited by mean-looking gypsies and lurking gangs on plenty of cheap booze. The gypsies are mostly engaged in heroin distribution, but if you would like to see the seamy side of Belarusian drug life, pick a daring local who would take you there. Getting some weed is possible, but this is a quest few locals dare to embark on.

In general, probably the only relatively safe and reliable way of getting any weed in Minsk is using your local friend who has contacts. Though marijuana is not popular at all, unlike alcohol, many young people at least know someone who might know someone. All you have to do is get into the right company. Don’t discuss drug-related issues with people you don’t quite know. Try not to get involved into the process of obtaining weed as much as you can. The safest way is to have it delivered to you, but the price will be higher.

Marijuana prices: Asking Minsk locals about weed brands in most cases sounds like bitter irony. As marijuana distribution is heavily oppressed, you don’t have much to choose from. You can get clipped leaves for about $10-$15 per matchbox. The quality varies between very low and average, though the high will be lighter and less lasting.

If you are very lucky, you can get locally produced buds of comparatively high quality. In most cases you will get either leaves or rough, heavy skunk. The price for buds and skunk is normally $15-$20 per gram. Don’t be surprised by the size of this ‘gram,’ it will be probably something more like 0.6-0.7 real grams. It is perfectly normal for Minsk, and customer care in this business is poor.

Hash is uncommon, but if there is some, the prices will be the same as skunk. If your local guide knows someone serious, discounts on major purchases can be offered. The skunk usually delivers a hard, powerful high which is a lot less coarse and physical than Amsterdam brands.

More information: Watch out. It is advised not to carry drug-related paraphernalia and marijuana when you take a walk through the street. If you have to have these things on you, try to stay out of trouble. Though there are lots of policemen in the streets, they don’t search and arrest people for no reason at all. Though, if you do something seriously illegal, it may be dangerous, as even a pipe can be counted as crime evidence.

Try to smoke indoors or in a company of people who own a car which can take you out of dangerous areas right away.

My Minsk Experience

I got pick-pocketed on the platform of Minsk metro station. My wallet with over €100 in it! And all my cards! I ran and told the police in my broken Russian. THEY STOPPED THE TRAINS! Then they got on the video cameras and GOT THE BITCH! Got everything back! Talk about lucky. I couch surfed the second night there and my hosts threw a huge house party in their small student apartment! Brilliant. It’s was a Hawaii theme. Girls in bikinis and coconuts. They even had a magician and performers! Got totally stoned and girls were chatting me up all night, curious to talk to the western guy. One girl in particular caught my eye and we really hit it off, but privacy was non-existent and I had get the train to Kiev the next morning – pity. Maybe some other time. Belarussian girls are cool.  Some pics of the party below. Notice only 1 other guy!