Why Number Closing is outdated

The game has changed.

Old School

Gone are the days where you ask for her number, or her for yours.

We can lay waste to the feelings of doubt and disconcerting angst, that often plagues the mind after you obtain those hopeful digits, reliable or otherwise.

That’s shit over. Number closing is outdated.

On my last birthday in September, a young Cameroonian women  of 18 approached me. Fair play to her, it appear the fruits of female empowerment in a post-feminist society have ripened. But that’s not what grabbed my attention. It was her opener.

“Hey, can I have your facebook?”

Boom! Simple and effective. The more I thought about, the more I released – my word its genius. Face-close! (you heard it here first)

Let’s look at the incredible advantages of a Face-close.

1. Screening
   Let’s face it, people are shallow. Now we can perv on potential lovers via their profile pics! Sure she looked good that night when you put the brewery out of business, but have you seen her holiday album? She’s a whale, that’s not a g-string that’s a z-string! “Remove as friend.”
2. It facilitates DHV’s (demonstrations of higher value)
   What about that pic of jumping out a plane, or wrestling a crocodile? Oh yes, women can’t help be impressed when they scroll down to find out you have a masters in Superology and speak Swahili. Your profile does all the work for you!
3. You can IM
   I ask you, is calling a girl you just met a good idea? Most younger chicks find it way too direct, forget what any book tells you. Unless you’re exceptional at thinking on your feet it’s best avoided. Then there’s texting. One can simply ignore you. I abhor those time lags too; it might as well be Morse code! Sure you have time to think about your responses, but then you got the misinterpretations and those long drawn out conversations that sometimes take over 24 hours to complete. Instant messaging provides a great medium; your language is considered, yet it’s still live communication. Facebook provides yet again. Even normal messages are better than txting or phoning.
4. It builds comfort and trust
   She’s know all about you – she’s seen your pics, your friends, your interests & knows where you went to school and what you do for a living. You’ve chatted, LOLed and even “liked” the fact her cat Mitsy was diagnosed with Diabetes. All this, and you haven’t even met. By the time you do, you’ll bed her faster than an Ikea salesman.

Now, let me share some advice. Here are two simple steps I’d recommend to ensure your profile works for you and not against you.

• Make lists. I put all women on my “chicas” list. I even divide girls into regions. I might want to talk my “Eastern Europe” girls tonight and ignore “Asia”. Furthermore, you can exclude such groups from seeing certain status updates and photo albums. Lists are great!
• Privacy & Pics. Don’t let girls see photos your tagged in. Like the one of you vomiting in a fish tank… Potential bedmates should only see what you want them to see, to paint you in the best possible light.

See what I mean?

 

So there you go. Next time you want to number close, think again.

Face-close!

Glasgow City Guide

Sauchiehall Street

Glascow in a word: Adequate.
C.O.H: 3.5 / 5
Q.O.G: 3 / 5
S.T.L: 4 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around €3 a pint.
Bed: €20 for a private room.
Bud: 1/8 for €20
Board: €7 for the biggest, baddest burger in town (@ O’Neills pub).
Budget other: The odd taxi.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Glasgow is adequate for a good weekend. As the third biggest city in the U.K, it is delightfully multi-cultural and the nightlife here is probably the best is Scotland. I’ve been here in the summer and the winter; I might as well have visited two different countries. Go in Summer.

Miss Glasgow: Lois Anna

The Girls

Glaswegians are a mixed bag, but there are of plenty options on the menu –  cute scotish blondes with euphonious accents, sexy eastern european immgrants or the much coveted asian imports. As a whole, the city hosts a liberal breed. One must remember this is Western Europe so standard rules apply; guys who use game will yeild results. Frankly, the competition is poor and if you do a little peakcocking even drunk game will work here. If you’re looking for something a bit more challenging and potontenially more rewarding, go to parks on summer weekends. They are  packed with arabs and hot forgeiners ripe for day game.

Nightlife Recommendations

The main artery of Glascows nightlife is along Sauchiehall Street.

Entrance to Garage

Garage

This place is excellent. Garage is huge nightclub with serveral bars and areas for socialising. It has bands, great DJ’s and the women abundant; quite popular with students.

Capitol Bar

Cool alternative bar good for picking up, with live music and a decent quantity foxy & approachable girls.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Legislation: drug use is not an offense in the United Kingdom, but possession and purchasing are illegal.

Law Enforcement:
They mostly ignore the smoking going on blatantly around them unless there’s kids nearby or someone has complained. In practice, the courts usually impose a fine in cases involving cannabis products.

Where to Buy Marijuana in Glasgow:Latest reports say “You can Marijuana in Kelvingrove park, many people smoke it there. Just ask for it, they wont bite you. If not, in Townhead near Buchana Bus Station, ask some neds, they’ll help you out. Please play it cool with them. Also in the Barras, the place is full of it….just ask around. You will probably smell it too. Good luck!”

You may ask around at of the city’s vivid nightclubs or nightly cafes.
even on the street ask most people and they will sort you out or know some one who can. Via good friends don’t buy from dealers in street as they are often very dangerous in Glasgow.

Glasgow Marijuana prices: £60 ounce
if not u can get it for £20 or £40 depending on the dealer
1/8 mid/high £25

My Glasgow Experience

I’ve been here twice. Due to the city’s multicultural credentials, I felt in my element on my last weekend visit.  Each night I was utterly shit-faced on account of my long awaited emancipation from university but nonetheless, I k-close 2 girls and come just short of a full close with a third – blasted dorm rooms! Cheap beds really come at a price. This is a good place to hang out for awhile and clock up some flags.

The Gramma Wing Technique

Your best wingman

My Grandmother just beat cancer and got out from hospital. So naturally, I agreed when she asked me to help her pick up some things at the nearest shopping centre.

Guess What?

Girls were practically eating out of my hand!

It all started in our first stop to pick up some slippers. Our cashier was a cute blonde, way too attractive to be Irish. My grandmother “opened her” to pay for her new kicks, then I swooped in with “Where are you from?”.

“Poland” she answers.

I spoke a few Polish words and she was practically smitten. She was flirty and keen, real keen. This wasn’t just a one occasion. The whole day girls were ultra-receptive. I was unshaven, dressed like a homeless person with an 80-year-old lady on my arm and yet some how I was exuding sexual energy. I decided to take advantage of this and get a few numbers…

My gramma would ask a shop assistant something like:

“Where can I find some cleaning solution for dentures?”

After a bit of banter, I would end the interaction with a bit a humor, handing them my phone and say:

“Should we have any denture cleaning related problems, I think it would best if I took your number…”

Boom. Works 80% of the time, all the time.

This technique works because:

• Having your gramma with you abolishs women’s defenses
• It shows high survival value (you are a protector)
• Women will almost NEVER reject you in front of your gramma.
• Day game in general is better for picking up high quality women.

Moral of the story: Bring the granny to get some fanny.

😉

Standards vs Alcohol Consumption

After my weekend in Glasgow, I release that when it comes to hooking up – everything is relative.

As you can see, this graph exhibits high convexity. This shows good intentions, but as the night progresses and closing time draws closer, standards decline rapidly. This effect is commonly known as “Beer Goggles”.

Possible side-effects include: Shame, hangovers & diarrhoea.

Bucharest City Guide

City Center Street

Bucharest in a word: Acceptable.
C.O.H: 3 / 5
Q.O.G: 4 / 5
S.T.L: 1 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €1.30 for a pint.
Bed: €13 for a private room
Bud: €15 per gram (hash)
Board: €3 for a pizza.
Budget other: Beware of currency con-artists.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Bucharest is an acceptable, walkable city but pales in comparison to other Romanian cities. To give you some perspective: it’s not as memorable as Belgrade but it has a lot more character than Sofia.

The Girls

Christina Dumitru

When you get to Bucharest you will be merry. Romanians girls are foxy.  They are slight and splendidly cute; stylish and pretty bright. One thing you will notice about Bucharest is couples have no problem making out in public. The girls are quite liberal in this regard. Although its not quite as easy to close here as the Eastern Slavic countries, it’s a great place for dating. From my experience the girls in other Romanian cities are much more friendly than those in Bucharest. That said, the quality here is hard to beat. A lot of the younger generation speak English and peakcocking garners a good deal of interest. Negs will knock the chicks down a peg or two (a lot of them need it).

Nightlife Recommendations

The nightlife is slightly dispersed. The old town/Lipscani has the biggest concentration of bars.

B52

Lots of cute student girls and cheap booze. If you want to cut out the middle man go to Piranha which is actually on campus!

Control Club

Kind of a hipster place, the girls here are a little alternative but receptive. I had a great time here. It has a kind of underground feel to it and often has live bands. It also has a lively bar and a dance floor. Busy most nights.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Legislation: Very strict. You can’t be arrested for consumption but 1g in your pocket, if found, means jail for sure.

Law Enforcement: Undercover cops in most of the clubs, pubs, bars. Usual policemen knows the look and smell of weed, so home is the best place to enjoy your smoking.

Where to buy Marijuana in Bucharest: Just friends and friends of friends. Asking ppl on the street or clubs is a bad idea. Don’t try to get hooked up from people you don’t know. It’s also more likely to find hash than weed. Where NOT to buy marijuana: clubs, bars, discos; suburban, ghetto-like areas; concerts or public events. In general, in Romania marijuana or hash can be bought safely only from people you know. Don’t buy from strangers !

Prices:

Depending on where it came from, prices/gram are variable:
10-14 eur for better romanian weed [will get you going] 15-25 eur for imports [from Germany or The Netherlands – real good stuff] 20 eur for the best hash you’ll ever smoke [Made in Romania]

My Bucharest Experience

I enjoyed this city. I also had success hooking up, but instead of a Romanian girl I end up with a Norwegian. I’m definitely not complaining.

UPDATE: My good friend Guzzling Gaz (who I accredit the word Trawling) just came back from the city. He successfully got the Romanian flag via online means.