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Budapest City Guide

Posted in City Guides, Hungary with tags , , , , , , , on May 16, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

On the Danube


Budapest in a word: Underrated.
C.O.H: 3 / 5
Q.O.G: 3 / 5
S.T.L: 2 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €2 for a pint
Bed: €18 for a private room
Bud: €10-15 per gram
Board: €3 for a hearty goulash.
Budget other: €10 for a booze cruise. You will have to take taxis from Buda to/from Pest at night.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Budapest is a beautiful city and has a lot to offer. It’s one of those places you wouldn’t mind going back to. Enjoy the quirky bars, dip in the baths and embark on a scenic booze cruise of the Danube.

Park Baths

The Girls

Tamara's just Buda'ful

If you’re coming from western Europe you will think the girls are exceptional. If you’re coming from Poland or the east you will feel downgraded (but they do have a little extra T&A). Male and Female interactions are en-keeping with the rest of Eastern Europe. The man is expected to pay for drinks on dates and respect them and blah blah blah. You can game them like any other girl. There is a language barrier but Hungarian women don’t seem to care and are interested in meeting non-Hungarian men. The pub scene here is great for chatting up women. Huge crowds hang-out outside in the summer and create a festival like atmosphere, it provide a great opportunity to meet locals and some saucy backpackers as well.

Nightlife Recommendations

Go on the Booze Cruise. This is usually followed by an epic pub crawl. Otherwise, there are two great bars you should check out, both are suitable for picking-up girls and enjoying a relaxing pint. Both of these place are definitely for the summer.

Szimpla

Great atmospheric bar with tons of character. The entrance might throw you off but go inside – think beer garden  / junkyard. Lots of people around and cheap drinks. Good place to bring a date. Lots of seating so not a great place to go on your own.

Zold Pardon

Great open-air riverside bar popular with locals and foreigners alike. Concerts nearly every night. I had an excellent time here.

* Honourable mention for Dokk beach near-by. Open air club (cap. 10,000!)

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Legislation: Hashish and marijuana are totally illegal. However you can buy weed in a lot of varieties and in very good quality. A lot of Hungarian people smoke marijuana.

Law Enforcement: The police will arrest everybody who use, buy, grow soft drugs, but sometimes you can buy your freedom on the spot.

Where to Buy marijuana in Budapest: Head to the marina, there are 4-5 discos and one of them is on a boat. Go into the boat and go to the rear of it. Ask someone where you can shop? They show you the dealer and if you come in time you can get some weed. The place is only open during weekends until 5 am. But you need to be there earlier as demand is higher than supplies.

Budapest marijuana Prices:
the going price around town is supposed to be 10 euros for a gram and that’s what they will tell you that you’re gonna get but the deals are really small.

My Budapest Experience

I was tour guide here for 10 women so I had my hands full! I still managed to hook up with a incredibly sensual, attractive Chinese/Canadian girl from my hostel whom I’m still in contact with. Hungarian girls didn’t attract my attention after Poland to tell you the truth… The booze cruise was electric.

Me in Budapest…

I'm so cool.

Ladyboy Survival Guide : Essential tips!

Posted in Cambodia, Ladyboys, Sex & Dating, Thailand, The Philippines, Travel Cheats with tags , , , , , on April 19, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Thai Ladyboy

Yes, I’m sure you’re all convinced you can tell a guy in a dress!

Many an intrepid traveler will tell you they can tell a ladyboy a mile away. That may be true 90% of the time, but many a proud man has let the other 10% slip through the gaydar.

There is a reason why so many men fall for it!

Common myths can steer you wrong – and get you dong!

A ladybody CAN be:

  • Beautiful
  • Slim & Petite
  • Curvaceous
  • Very Feminine

They can get their Adam’s apple Shaved!

Implants and facial reconstuction!

They can even have the chop (vaginoplasty)!

So what can you do?

How to prevent bringing that beautiful ‘girl’  home and end up crying in the corner washing your mouth out with rice wine!?

"But he was really hot.."

Here are the naughty nomad’s  guaranteed ways to tell a ladyboy  :

Tip 1)  They are suspiciously easy or forward.

Remember – they’re guy too, they just wanna get laid.

Tip 2) The tit test

A  maneuver that could save your ass! Implants are harder then normal breasts. A cheeky squeeze may seem rude, but can reveal a dude!

Tip 3) Just fucking ask them!

Ladyboy’s usually don’t bother lying if you ask them. As for South East Asian  girls – they won’t be insulted! They know there’s loads of hot ladyboys. Plus if they are ‘all women’, you have just knocked them down a peg with a neg.

Tip 4) They’re strangely attractive

Not just attractive, strangely attractive. The hottest girl I saw in Phnom Penh turned out the be a man! Remember there’s something about Mirium?

Tip 5) They have a penis

Boys have penises and girls have vaginas.

If she has a penis, you have two choices

a) run

b) think to yourself  “Man! It’s been a really long time…. maybe I’ll just ask them to turn around. I don’t want to be rude… Oh gee I really shouldn’t… well what if I… oh… hey…hey that’s…. that’s not bad… well it’s too late now I guess…”

Disclaimer: Option b) may include side effects like suicide and diarrhoea.

If it looks a vagina it probably is. Let your nose double check if you’re really paranoid!

I hope this guide helps you.

But remember! Not every girl who walks you to you in a bar  in South East Asia is a ladyboy…  some just want to rob you or get a passport!*

🙂

* Generalisation  for comic effect, not the view of the author. The author has fortunately never got off with a ladyboy.