Archive for the Uganda Category

Kampala City Guide

Posted in City Guides, Uganda with tags , , , , on May 1, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Kampala Central

Kampala in a word: Bootylicious.
C.O.H: 4 / 5
Q.O.G: 3 / 5
S.T.L: 3.5 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer:Around  €.90
Bed: €12 for  a private
Bud: €1 a gram
Board: €3 for a meal.
Budget other: Some of the best white water rafting in the world! Budget around €80
Currency Conversion

Overview

Uganda kicks ass! Kampala is base camp and party central.  It’s also one the few cities where you can find monkeys hanging around your room. Ugandans are considerable more friendly than the Kenyans next door. White water rafting and lake Bunyonyi are an absolutely must. This place offers endless entertainment.

OH SHIT! Grade 5

Sexy Salma

The Girls

If you’re a man that likes a hip to ration ratio to beat the band, you’re in the right place. They have tiny waists with big assets that would convert any man. They got it and they know how to use it. Bootylicous babes stalk the city and are keen to meet foreigners.  But remember,  like a lot of east Africa there’s alot of working girls at night. If you have no options just shore em. Even if she seems normal and friendly be careful – there are a lot of pick pockets so you need to be on your guard. If you go to right night spot you can find ‘normal’ girls. Your best bet is day game but it’s hard to find time with all activities around.  Just ask a girl for her phone number and she will jump at the chance.  Girls here are very direct and anything but frigid. Many are curious to bed a foreigner and make sure their good ambassadors in the bedroom. They sure leave a lasting impression. If you strike out just get stoned and play with the monkeys.

Nightlife Recommendations

There isn’t too many tourists who brave the streets at night time, which is good for you!

Top Pub/Sax bar
Boom city. They are both around the same area, goods places to for a casual drink and also to pick up some sexy Kampala girls. Watch your wallet. Open 24 hours.

Capital Pub
Capital pub is really more of a disco than a pub and a really good night out. Not all the girls here are working girls.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Legislation: Marijuana is illegal in Uganda, and so is any related action.
There have been calls by farmers to legalize, but no action has been taken.

Law enforcement: Police have conducted raids on local farmers. But people smoke out in the open in many parts of the country.

Where to buy marijuana: Go to Kasanga or Kabalaga on the outskirts of Kampala, down Gaba road. You can usually find someone at Al’s Bar or Capitol Pub.

Even better, get to know a boda-boda taxi driver and ask them to get it for you. You can get them pre-rolled or in larger quantities from someone’s neighboring village.

This is “Uganja.” It is referred to as gangja, weed, salad, and bang…

Marijuana prices: In Kampala, 30 hand-rolled marijuana cigarettes for roughly 10,000 Uganda shillings ($5.70). You can get more in rural areas for much less.

More information: You can find marijuana almost anywhere in Uganda, especially in Ssese Islands and Sipi Falls. Just find a young staff member at a hotel to help get it for you.

My Kampala Experience

White water rafting was the highlight. But there was a close second. This was the fastest close I’ve ever experience. I was outside Sax when this slim, big booty babe approached me. She whispered in my ear…

“You’re eyes are like paradise”

“…eh… thanks”

That may have been a line but it totally worked. She got right to it…

“I want to make love to you, African style..”

“For free!?” I asked.

“Of course for free, we can go here…” She pointed at the building in the distance.

“Let’s go!” I gleefully replied.

She walked ahead of me, flaunting her amazing ass in a delberate and teasing fashion. When we got to the room and the first thing she said was…

“You are like water… I need to drink you”

I’ll leave the rest up to your imaginations.

It was all good, until one hour later when she told me – By the way, I’ve HIV…

Monkey figuring out how to use a mirror

Getting stoned by Lake Bunyonyi

Let me know about your Kampala experiences and leave a comment!