Archive for the Sex & Dating Category

Why Number Closing is outdated

Posted in Pick up techniques, Sex & Dating with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 3, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

The game has changed.

Old School

Gone are the days where you ask for her number, or her for yours.

We can lay waste to the feelings of doubt and disconcerting angst, that often plagues the mind after you obtain those hopeful digits, reliable or otherwise.

That’s shit over. Number closing is outdated.

On my last birthday in September, a young Cameroonian women  of 18 approached me. Fair play to her, it appear the fruits of female empowerment in a post-feminist society have ripened. But that’s not what grabbed my attention. It was her opener.

“Hey, can I have your facebook?”

Boom! Simple and effective. The more I thought about, the more I released – my word its genius. Face-close! (you heard it here first)

Let’s look at the incredible advantages of a Face-close.

  1. Screening
    Let’s face it, people are shallow. Now we can perv on potential lovers via their profile pics! Sure she looked good that night when you put the brewery out of business, but have you seen her holiday album? She’s a whale, that’s not a g-string that’s a z-string! “Remove as friend.”
  2. It facilitates DHV’s (demonstrations of higher value)
    What about that pic of jumping out a plane, or wrestling a crocodile? Oh yes, women can’t help be impressed when they scroll down to find out you have a masters in Superology and speak Swahili. Your profile does all the work for you!
  3. You can IM
    I ask you, is calling a girl you just met a good idea? Most younger chicks find it way too direct, forget what any book tells you. Unless you’re exceptional at thinking on your feet it’s best avoided. Then there’s texting. One can simply ignore you. I abhor those time lags too; it might as well be Morse code! Sure you have time to think about your responses, but then you got the misinterpretations and those long drawn out conversations that sometimes take over 24 hours to complete. Instant messaging provides a great medium; your language is considered, yet it’s still live communication. Facebook provides yet again. Even normal messages are better than txting or phoning.
  4. It builds comfort and trust
    She’s know all about you – she’s seen your pics, your friends, your interests & knows where you went to school and what you do for a living. You’ve chatted, LOLed and even “liked” the fact her cat Mitsy was diagnosed with Diabetes. All this, and you haven’t even met. By the time you do, you’ll bed her faster than an Ikea salesman.

Now, let me share some advice. Here are two simple steps I’d recommend to ensure your profile works for you and not against you.

  • Make lists. I put all women on my “chicas” list. I even divide girls into regions. I might want to talk my “Eastern Europe” girls tonight and ignore “Asia”. Furthermore, you can exclude such groups from seeing certain status updates and photo albums. Lists are great!
  • Privacy & Pics. Don’t let girls see photos your tagged in. Like the one of you vomiting in a fish tank… Potential bedmates should only see what you want them to see, to paint you in the best possible light.

See what I mean?

 

So there you go. Next time you want to number close, think again.

Face-close!


The Siege of Malta

Posted in Malta, Sex & Dating with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

The Mission: Capture my Maltese flag, in style.

Yes, Leprechaun pirate

I hit the ground cold and I had a week.

Dressed as a Leprechaun Pirate, I stormed the island with my new crew: Genocide Glen, Pillaging Paul & Cut-throat Killian (aka Mr.Killian). Many women fell prey to our charms but I wasn’t interested in just a flag. Any man can put one to his mast if mounted by a chubby chica or a prawn; I wasn’t here to trawl. These opposing paradigms are well summed up in an article by Atlas Al: Flag hunter vs Flag collector.

On Form, the pick up:

I wanted quality. Sometime that comes easy when you’re on form.

I found it – a sexy Maltese cutie weighting only 48 kgs, and that included her breast implants. I got her number in a nightclub and we agreed to meet again. She left. Things continued to go well. That very night I made out with a married Maltese girl, her best friend (on the sly), an Italian and then got taken home by a beautiful Indian Aussie. Mr. Killian slayed her friend in the next room, and got his Swedish flag.

Day 1, a fearsome test:

Do fuck off!

The next meet up with my Maltese cutie was behind enemy lines. She was attending a private party in some upper class club, a pretentious affair concocted for a single launch, some electro progressive bullshit. My friends bolted and left me to my own devices.

Her circle was a mix of models, rich kids and socialites with delusions of eloquence.The scene was decorated by designer couture and Louis Vuitton handbags. Then there was me… the idiotic Irish guy with the ridiculous hat wielding a toy sword!

The minute my date left for the bathroom, I was immediately shunned from the group. Two guys came over, turned their backs and formed a wall of penis, rendering me an outcast. I tried to open her guy friends, I was amoged. I tried to open her girlfriends, I was cockblocked. I looked like the biggest sap in the room. My girl was about to return and my perceived social value was so low I was doomed to a night of frustrated wanking. Welcome to loserville.

I thought to myself, “What would a real man do in this scenario?”.

I could go to the bar… not good enough.

I could go the toilet… like a fucking pussy.

 

A Predicament...

No, I stepped up to plate and went straight up to five other women, opening an entire new set. My costume provided me with a hook point and one of the girls began flirting with me. Just at that moment, my dainty date emerged from the bathroom to see me the centre of attention amongst a group of beautiful women. The timing was perfect. I pretend not to notice her. I sense her approaching my back, I feel a tug on my shirt. The woman was marking her territory. I love a good jealously plotline. I had completely turned the situation around.

Rather then go back to her chilly clique, I bid her adieu and told her I’d text her. In all honesty, I didn’t expect the interaction to go much further…

Day 2, lock down.

A busy room indeed..

No need to text. I turn on my phone at 2 pm and the texts come in. She wanted to meet, asap. I had another date at midnight so we meet at 7pm. Mr. Killian was banging a Russian up in the room at this time, scoring his Russian flag and his first Muslim. He gleefully handed over the keys at 9. By 10 I was indulging in my sweet little Maltese sex machine. I don’t usually give too much detail, but I will say she was incredible, someone I clicked with on many levels. After my third orgasm I released I missed my second date, but I didn’t care.

The next day I ended up back here in Ireland.

The siege of Malta was complete!

On Form

Posted in Sex & Dating on September 30, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

The zone, in flow, on form –  it all means the same thing.  Well this nomad is on form. During the Siege of the Adriatic, I pulled off some impressive f closes with a handful of HBs from 5 different countries. That said, I  kept the standard high too.

Last night in Dublin, I had two girls on my arm, a chick from Zimbabwe (20) and a “devout” Muslim from Nigeria (18). The looks I was getting were hilarious, who was this bad ass Irish guy with two black chicks hanging off him? The Muslim was super cute, we made out and made arrangements for a day 2.

I have a 18 year old Filipina girl who wants to cook me dinner next week.

Not one hour ago,  a sexy bitch from Cameroon (18) comes into the family pub and asks for my facebook.  WTF? Why do African chicks wanna jump me so bad? Since I’ve been back, I’ve been radiating sexual energy.

It’s the snow ball effect. What can I say? I’m on form.

I blame travel.

Did I mention it’s also my birthday today? WOO HOO!!!

The Limerick of Budva

Posted in Israel, Montenegro, Poems & Limericks, Sex & Dating with tags , on September 18, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

A pirate danced with his crew,
He stumbled upon a hot Jew,
A body to thrill,
He went for the kill,
Oh man was she able to screw.

and screw…

and screw…

and screw.

Shoring 101: 7 Golden Rules

Posted in Pick up techniques, Sex & Dating, Shoring, Travel Cheats with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 30, 2010 by Mackeral Mark

Jakarta, Indonesia

When I came up the term “Shoring“, I didn’t expect to get some many emails from skeptics asking the question:

“BS. How the hell do you get a “lady of the night” to bang you for free?”

Then I released something, Shoring is not just a buzz word, it’s an art form; one that took me several years to perfect. To date, I’ve shored dozens of exotic women in Africa and Asia and never paid for it once. Through calibration and trial and error, I’m now an expert at it. Recently, I rolled into a club in Dili, East Timor, an environment with a 95% male ratio. Rather than poor Timorese guys,  these were beefed up Portuguese UN soldiers, all competing to pay for sex. Against all odds, I shored the hottest chick in the building. Her opportunity cost was easily $100, but she choose me. Personally I prefer “good girls”, but when supply and demand are unfavorable, what is a man to do?

There are ramifications to picking up hookers, like when a girl tells you “By the way, I’ve HIV“. But these girls fuck for a living, so they’re dam good at what they do. If the girl(s) genuinely like you, they will show you the best night of your life!

Excuse the pun, but the pros outweigh the cons.

“Right Naughty Nomad, get to the fucking point… what’s the secret!?”

Well kids, here are a few pick-up techniques I use to Shore. Class is now in session…

SHORING 101: 7  Golden Rules

  1. Play it dumb.
    As far as you’re concerned she’s a normal girl having a normal conversation with you. Pretend like you have no idea she’s working. She might not be! Regardless, build the illusion for both parties. Avoid the question “What do you do for a living?”
  2. Play hard to get.
    Some hardened pros are very forward and will be all over you the within a few seconds. Say things like “Slow down” or “I’m Shy..” or “I’m not that easy!” This separates you from all the scumbags she’s used to. It build’s attraction, a kind of Neg/DHV combo.
  3. Don’t buy her a drink.
    This sets up an exchange mentality. If she requests one, deny her. Many pro’s make commission on lady’s drinks or some just want use you to get pissed. EXCEPTION: You don’t want to look cheap at the same time, only consider buying a drink if you bounce to new establishment. If she joins you to another bar without investment, it’s a big enough IOI to justify purchasing a drink for your “instant date”.
  4. Treat her like you girlfriend.
    Be a gentleman, have fun with her. Game her, but don’t escalate too quickly. Build an emotional connection. Be cheesy, not sleazy. Then, when the time is right…
  5. Kiss her.
    Don’t stick your tongue down her throat and grab her ass. Kiss her slow and passionately, savour it, give her butterflies. If you can do this, it becomes a completely different interaction.
  6. Never, ever bring up money.
    This is important. I used to say “I don’t pay” right at the start of a conversation, a bad idea in retrospect as it offers no illusions. Now I just don’t mention it during the entire interaction. If she brings it up just say “Sorry, love is free”. She will stick around or move on.
  7. Close.
    When the time is right, you need to ask her the right way. Ones that have worked for me are: “If you want, you can come home with me…” or “I know it’s a bit forward, but I like you.. do you want to go back to my place?”. The main thing is to give here a choice, she can take it or leave it. She can get a wad of cash off some fat white sex tourist or she can experience intimacy and wild steamy sex with someone she actually likes… if you’ve run your game right, she will choose the latter. Have fun!!! Remember, these girls will do just about anything in bed!
    😉

Hope this guide helps. You can offer your experiences or ask me questions by leaving a comment below!